Drifting Away
by gdzemama
Summary: Olivia and Fitz met at the beach when they were teenagers. Almost 30 years later they are reunited. At the same time, their teenage children become close as well. Plot is based on the book Summer People by Elin Hilderbrand with several major differences.
1. Summer Days

**AN: I keep trying to decide whether or not to publish this. I told myself that after I write the 2nd chapter I'll publish the 1st. Well, the 2nd isn't done yet but I thought I'd just do it. This fic is based on the book Summer People by Elin Hilderbrand. I got the plot idea from her book, though there are some serious differences overall. I hope you like it. Thanks go to BritishObsessed for her help and encouragement!**

Chapter 1: Summer Days

_Present Day, Late June, Early Afternoon_

As she stepped out of her car onto the sandy driveway, Olivia inhaled the salty aired sea-breeze smell that always sent her back to a summer long ago. A ball of anxious pain settled in her rib cage, below her heart but above her stomach, the place inside where she had always kept the pain of losing her mother. Now, the pain of that loss was joined by the more recent sadness caused by the loss of her husband. Coming back to the beach was quite possibly a mistake. Too many memories.

Olivia popped the trunk to her car and began unloading suitcases. After a moment, she felt the presence of someone by her side and she turned to look into the face that defined her life. The tanned skin only a shade lighter than Olivia's own, the long wavy hair, the dark, wide brown eyes that mirrored hers, now reddened from mourning her father. Emily looked at Olivia with those large eyes and Olivia handed her a duffle bag. Emily's hands were already full as she clutched the urn which held her father's ashes, so she didn't reach for the bag her mother was offering. Olivia sighed and shouldered the bag herself, grabbed the handle of one of the suitcases, and started up the driveway to the house, glancing back to be sure Emily was following.

Olivia fumbled a bit and pulled out the keys to the rental home that she and Emily would be staying in for the summer. Emily was sixteen and Olivia had been fourteen the first summer she and her father had rented a similar house at the same beach. Her father had claimed that they would spend the summer together and learn to cope with her mother's death together, but instead he had secluded himself in the master bedroom with his work and she had learned to care for herself. Olivia promised herself that she wouldn't do to Emily what her father had done, no matter how inviting the master bedroom's emptiness appeared.

"It's kind of stuffy in here, isn't it?" Olivia said to Emily as she dropped the bags in the hallway. "Here, this one is your room," she added, gesturing at the smaller bedroom and then walking inside to open the window.

The room was small but comfortable, furnished in a manner that reminded Olivia of summers past, nostalgia, and home. She hoped Emily would be happy here this summer.

Emily followed her mother into the room, setting the urn down on the dresser. "I'm gonna go check out the beach," she said, her voice slightly hoarse from lack of use.

Olivia watched her daughter for a moment before nodding. "Sure," she said. "I want to unpack a bit and then I'll probably go to grocery shopping. Do you want me to wait for you to go?"

"No," Emily answered, moving past Olivia to the hallway to pick up her duffle bag.

Emily hadn't been eating much since her father died and Olivia realized a trip to the grocery store with her mother wouldn't be a teenager's idea of fun anyway. "Do you want me to come down to the beach with you?" she asked.

"I'd really rather be alone," Emily said. "I'll just see you later, okay Mom?" She held onto the door as if she wanted it closed, so Olivia stepped back into the hallway.

Emily offered a small wave before she closed the door and Olivia closed her eyes briefly before heading back outside for the rest of the bags. By the time she re-entered the house, Emily was at the back door, on her way out to the beach. Watching her go forced Olivia to remember her own escape to the beach and how what she found there led her to the love her own father couldn't provide. How she had gone from resenting her father for bringing her there in the first place to begging him to take her back the summers following. How over those four summers she had grown into herself, fallen in love, let him go, and ruined everything. It had been thirty years since that first summer when Olivia was fourteen, and yet she could still remember it as if it was yesterday.

* * *

_1984, Late June, Late Morning_

All the adults said that Olivia had lost her mother, but Olivia knew that she was the one who was lost. She sat on the beach with the book she was supposed to be reading for her high school English class at the school she didn't want to go to and watched the other kids. She envied them, the ones swimming or surfing in the ocean, the ones playing Frisbee or football, the ones picnicking, and the ones tanning in groups. As far as she could tell, she was the only one that was alone.

She saw him before he approached her although later he said that he noticed her long before she noticed him. He was with a group of boys but he didn't seem to be a part of the group. He was all curly hair and hard muscle and Olivia realized she wasn't looking at a boy, but rather at a man. Aside from his good looks, what made him stand out to Olivia was that he was reading a book. And suddenly, although he was far from where she sat, because she was no longer the only one reading on the beach, she was no longer alone.

Olivia began stealing glances at him while actually finding the will to focus on her book – he was reading, so she was too. She wondered what book he was reading but she couldn't see and she was too shy to move closer to him. As she looked towards him for what might have been the hundredth time, his eyes met hers and he smiled. Olivia pretended she had confidence and shot a smile back in his direction before quickly returning her attention to her book.

When she looked up again he was still looking at her, but he was no longer sitting with his group of friends. He was walking towards her. Olivia's heart jumped in surprise and she reached for her sunglasses, placing them quickly onto her face. Once her face was hidden, she allowed herself to run her eyes over his body, from his large feet, up his strong, muscular legs to his red swim trunks, over his abs and slightly hairy chest, finally settling on his face. He had a square jaw line accented by a crooked grin and his eyes were gorgeously blue. Olivia felt herself blushing as she realized he must have been able to tell that she had been checking him out. He merely continued smirking though, and sat down on her blanket beside her.

Olivia shot him an incredulous look for invading her personal space, but he ignored it and spoke. "What are you reading?" he asked her.

"Required reading," she told him, showing him the title of her book.

"Of Mice and Men," he said, nodding. "That's a good one."

"Freshman English," she said. "How about you?"

He in turn showed her the cover of his book, which he had carried over with him. "Mine's required reading also," he said.

"The Shining by Stephen King?" Olivia asked. "What sort of teacher requires that?"

"Intro to Horror Fiction Writing," he said with a smile. At her confused glance, he explained, "I'm starting Columbia in the fall. It's my elective class for an English major. I'm Fitz," he added.

"You're…starting college?" she said slowly. So he actually was a man, as she had suspected by his looks. "I'm starting high school," she offered, wanting to get that part out of the way in case he wanted to get up and go back to his friends at finding out her age. He didn't move.

"What's your name?" he prompted her.

"Olivia," she answered.

"You live around here?" he asked.

"I'm here for the summer," she said.

"Ah, family vacation?" he said with a smile.

"It's just me and my dad," she answered, looking away for a moment.

"Me too," Fitz said, and Olivia looked back at him questioningly. He gazed out at the ocean, then focused back on her again. "My mom died two years ago," he said. Then he let out a chuckle. "I'm not sure why I'm telling you this. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay," Olivia said, suddenly feeling the need to look at him eye to eye. She raised her sunglasses onto the top of her head. "I'm sorry about your mom, and actually, my mom just died two months ago."

Their eyes met and neither felt any need to say anything further. Olivia felt a warmth that began in her lower stomach and spread to release some of the ice that surrounded her heart. That feeling of connection with Fitz was what started their friendship so long ago. It was a feeling that grew over time and eventually became too big for Olivia to handle. At the time though, Fitz broke the eye contact and said, "Do you swim?"

Olivia laughed at this. "Of course," she said, watching as he stood and offered her his hand. She followed his lead, letting him pull her up and brushing sand off of her legs.

"C'mon then!" Fitz said, dropping her hand and starting a jog towards the waves. Olivia followed, smiling to herself and thinking she might just follow this man anywhere.

Olivia's first step into the ocean surprised her. Fitz dove right in and started swimming, while she hopped from one foot to the other trying to get herself used to the water.

"Hurry up, Olivia!" Fitz yelled to her.

Olivia waded deeper, up to her navy blue bikini bottoms, up to her stomach, and finally up to her chest. Fitz was still farther out in the water and she started to swim towards him.

"Race you to the end of the pier!" he shouted, pointing to the nearby rocks that extended out into the ocean. Olivia had always been a strong swimmer and she planned to join the swim team as soon as possible once she got to her new school. She jumped forwards into the waves and swam after Fitz.

When she reached the end of the pier, Olivia turned in a circle looking for Fitz, who seemed to have disappeared. Suddenly, a tug on her leg made her shriek and swallow some salt water as Fitz emerged beside her. Coughing, Olivia suddenly felt like she was the butt of a joke and somewhere back on the beach Fitz's friends were watching and laughing.

Fitz wasn't laughing though, as he reached an arm around Olivia's waist to hold her up as she coughed. "Are you okay?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned. "Sorry about that, I didn't mean to scare you!"

Suddenly finding she was having difficulty breathing for an entirely different reason than having swallowed water, Olivia moved away from him. "I'm fine, really," she said. "You know what, I have to go." She started paddling back towards the shore and Fitz followed her this time.

"Wait, I'm sorry!" he said again.

Olivia strode onto the sand and Fitz grabbed her hand, forcing her to turn towards him. "Olivia!" he said. "What happened? Did I hurt you?"

"No, I'm okay," Olivia said, his concern for her well-being easing her embarrassment slightly. "Look, I'm just going to go home now," she gestured towards the houses which backed up to the beach.

"Okay," Fitz said. "Can we hang out again?"

Olivia was slightly surprised that he would want to, but she knew she would love to see him again, so she said, "Sure." Then she turned and began walking towards where she had left her things.

"Wait," Fitz called. "I don't know where you live or anything!"

"I'm sure we'll find each other," Olivia said, shooting a grin over her shoulder.

As it turned out, she was right.

* * *

_Present Day, Late June, Afternoon_

Olivia stood still in the produce aisle at the local supermarket, trying to remember if Emily preferred kale or bok choy in her salads. She had already stocked her cart with cheeses and deli meats, breads, cereal, milk, eggs, and a variety of snacks she thought Emily might eat. Now she held the kale in her left hand and the bok choy in her right and was considering trying to reach Emily on her cell phone when a movement on her kale side caught her attention. Olivia jumped a little and then inwardly reprimanded herself for being surprised. Of course Fitz would be here, she had known she would run into him and she had known it would be awkward. She just hadn't realized it would happen on her first day in town.

Fitz, looking even more handsome than Olivia recalled, only looked slightly surprised to see her. "Hi, Liv," he greeted her with his signature crooked smirk.

Olivia just looked at him for a moment, feeling the familiar warmth that his presence usually caused, and immediately afterwards feeling the guilt that came with the memories of their shared past. "Hi," she responded finally, turning back to the produce shelves and replacing the kale where it belonged.

"How are you?" he asked, his hand reaching towards hers and then withdrawing before he made contact. "I heard about your husband, I'm so sorry."

"Thanks," Olivia answered, avoiding eye contact, not wanting his pity. She raised her free hand to cover her eyes. "I can't really talk about it," she murmured.

"I understand," Fitz said. He reached towards her again, and this time his hand closed around her wrist where it remained covering her eyes. He gently moved her hand away from her face and suddenly Olivia realized that she likely looked like crap. She hadn't even looked in a mirror after she had spent the whole morning in her car. Her clothes were probably wrinkled and her hair was definitely a mess.

She forced herself to smile even though she thought she might start to cry.

"You here all summer?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, allowing herself to look at him. "How about you?"

"I am," he answered. "We are."

Olivia nodded at this, her mind involuntarily flickering to the image of Fitz's wife, Mellie. Olivia had met her briefly a few summers back and had found her to be beautiful but pretentious – not the type of woman she would have imagined Fitz would marry. The night they had met had turned disastrous, though that had not been Mellie's fault. Before she could stop herself, Olivia said, "Why don't you all come over for dinner on Friday?" She felt herself blushing slightly and added, "I'd love for Emily to meet your kids."

"I don't know, Liv," Fitz said slowly.

"Are you busy?" she asked, suddenly worried that he didn't find the idea of eating dinner with her appealing.

"No, I just…" he paused, then smiled. "That sounds nice," he said. "Are you making bok choy?" He gestured at the greens that Olivia still held in her hand.

She smiled and shook her head, finally adding the bok choy to her cart. "How about steak?" she said, and when he agreed she gave him the address of her rental house. When they said goodbye, Olivia actually felt slightly less anxious than she had earlier that morning. At least she had gotten the initial awkward run-in with Fitz out of the way, she thought. Of course, now she had a dinner to plan and the promise of an even more awkward evening with him and his family.

Olivia finished out her shopping trip by choosing potatoes, asparagus, and lettuce in the produce section and then buying the steaks that she would grill on Friday evening. As she did so, she told herself how this dinner would be a casual event. She would wear jeans and flip flops. The kids could hang out together. Dinner with old friends was truly no big deal. At least that was what Olivia tried to tell herself.

_Present Day, Late June, Late Afternoon_

When Olivia arrived back at home with the groceries, Emily was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for her. Emily could tell that something had happened at the supermarket by the way her mother looked – she actually looked happy and Emily hadn't seen her mother looking happy for quite some time.

"What happened?" she asked, but Olivia didn't answer, just began unloading her grocery bags. "Mom!" Emily said and Olivia looked at her.

"Hmm?" she said in a strangely high pitched voice. "Oh hey, Em, can you help me put this stuff away?"

Emily stood and opened one of the bags. "What are all the steaks for?" she asked her mother.

"Oh!" Olivia said, focusing on Emily as if suddenly realizing her daughter was asking her something. "I ran into an old friend at the store. I invited him and his family over for dinner on Friday."

Emily wrinkled her nose. An old friend? Him? "Who?" she asked her mom.

"What?" Olivia replied, moving to put away the breads she had purchased.

"I said, who did you invite over?" Emily said.

"An old friend of mine, Fitz Grant. And his wife, and his two kids. They're your age, the boy is 17 and the girl is 15, isn't that perfect?"

"Mom," Emily said.

"Yes?"

"I thought this summer was supposed to be about you and me healing together from Dad's death. Not about some strangers and me having to act all cool in front of some other kids I don't want to meet."

"Em, Fitz isn't a stranger. I've known him since I was fourteen years old. He was my best friend when I was your age."

"Oh, so he's an old boyfriend, not an old friend then?" Emily challenged.

"He's an old friend," Olivia said again. "From when I was your age. And he's bringing his wife and his kids."

"Dad's only been dead for three months," Emily pointed out, returning to her chair at the table.

Emily and Olivia had discussed multiple times the fact that people grieve differently. After her father's funeral, Emily had isolated herself from her friends and concentrated solely on finishing her sophomore year of high school. Her mother had also isolated herself, discussing her feelings about her husband's death only sparingly. She preferred to lose herself in her large glasses of red wine and then cry herself to sleep at night. Emily knew her parents hadn't had a perfect marriage. She knew that in some ways her mother was probably relieved that her husband had been removed from her life so simply and quickly – in a car accident in which he had died at the scene. However, she also knew her mom missed her dad and that she was lonely. Which was why she was so excited to see this old boyfriend of hers. Add this to mom's stages of grief – first, drink. Second, dinner with old boyfriend.

Olivia sat beside her daughter at the table. "I know you miss him, Honey," she said. "I know this is difficult. And I promise you and I are going to spend a lot of time doing things together while we're here. We'll scatter Daddy's ashes somewhere nice, together."

"Daddy hated the beach," Emily grumbled, remembering the one time the family had come to the beach together. Her father had complained almost the whole time.

Olivia sighed. "I know. The truth is I invited Fitz without really thinking about it. But I don't want to cancel now. So can we just try to be friendly hosts when they come over?"

Olivia looked so hopeful in that moment that Emily couldn't help but nod. "Okay," she said.

"Thank you, Honey. I so appreciate it." Olivia got up and returned to her grocery bags. "Are you hungry?" she asked.

Emily hadn't been truly hungry in months. She ate, but only a little at a time. Just enough so she wouldn't starve. She and Olivia had eaten on their way to the rental house and now Emily wanted to unpack and rest in her room.

It was later that night – much later, after Emily had arranged her room, eaten a sandwich, sat outside on the back porch and read a book, and finally fallen asleep in her bed, which was surprisingly comfortable – when Emily startled awake. At first, she wasn't sure what had woken her and she walked out of her room and stood in the hallway, listening. When she placed the muffled sounds she was hearing as the quiet sobs of her mother, she went to her. And as if she was the mother awoken by the sounds of her child crying, Emily drew back her mother's covers and climbed into the king sized bed beside her.

"I'm sorry, I'm okay, you can go back to bed," Olivia said, but Emily shushed her, stroked her arm, and lay beside her in the place her father should have been if he was still there with them now.


	2. Summer Sun

Chapter 2: Summer Sun

_1984, Late June, Early Morning_

Olivia and her father sat on their back deck having breakfast. It was early and still slightly cool out, so Olivia was wrapped in an old 1970's paisley throw that had belonged to her mother and was sipping hot chocolate, while her father drank coffee and read the newspaper. They weren't speaking to one another, but Olivia still felt comforted by her father's presence – a feeling that all but disappeared as she grew older.

Olivia's mind was occupied with thoughts of a handsome man called Fitz and she almost thought that she was daydreaming when said man appeared on the side of the deck. Dressed in running shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt, he was a vision out of a magazine. Or maybe just out of her dreams. She stood up quickly to greet him, dropping the throw and revealing her grey sweats and her oldest black tank top. She thought she saw his eyes moving over her body, but it was so quick that she might have imagined it. She blushed anyway.

"Daddy," she said to her father, "this is Fitz, the boy I met at the beach."

Her father stood as well and Fitz moved onto the deck to shake the other man's hand. "Nice to meet you, sir," he said. "I'm Fitzgerald Grant."

"Grant?" Olivia's father questioned, his brow wrinkling. "You're Gerry Grant's son?"

"That's right, Sir," Fitz answered.

Olivia was only slightly surprised that her father knew Fitz's father. Her father knew mostly everyone, it seemed. She was more surprised by her father's next comment: "Think he has a good shot at becoming governor?"

Fitz nodded and glanced towards Olivia. "It seems like he does," he answered.

Olivia's father smiled. "What do you think about the chances of seeing a black man in the White House sometime soon?" he asked.

Olivia covered her face in embarrassment. "Dad, stop," she said.

"What, it's an honest question for the son of a politician," her father protested.

Fitz didn't look phased, and he replied, "I'm sure it will happen in our lifetime, Sir."

"I hope so too," Olivia's father answered.

Fitz smiled and turned to Olivia, "You want to join me for my morning run, Liv?" he asked.

Olivia frowned. "I'm not much of a runner," she answered.

"That's okay, I'm slow," Fitz said, his eyes amused as he regarded her.

"Um, okay. Let me just grab my sneakers," she said.

"Olivia." Her father spoke in a way which made Olivia aware she had done something wrong.

"May I go with him, Dad?" she asked him. At his raised eyebrow, she added, "Please?"

A nod granted her permission and she got her running practice in by racing to her room and back as fast as she could, hoping to save Fitz from further interrogation from her father.

Walking away from the house, Fitz said, "Is your dad a racist?"

Olivia scoffed. "Technically he can't be racist," she told him.

"Huh?" Fitz was looking at her as if she were crazy, so she smiled at him.

"A black man can't be racist when black people are the ones without the power. Racism is really about the power white people have over black people." She said this all matter-of-factly and Fitz looked at her with his eyebrows raised.

"Makes sense, I guess, Ms. Smartie Pants," he teased.

"To answer your question though," Olivia said, "my dad doesn't love white people."

"Great," Fitz laughed. "I guess that's why he wasn't so happy about you coming out with me?"

"Whatever," Olivia said. "So are we running, or what?" She started up at a slow jog and Fitz joined her.

"I thought you're not a runner?" he asked as she tried to speed up faster than his pace.

"Not really," she answered, shooting him a grin over her shoulder.

"Want to race?" he asked.

"What's with you and racing?" she commented, remembering their race in the ocean on the day they met.

He shrugged as he sped up and ran past her. Her head tilted to the side as she admired his physique in front of her. He really was quite good looking.

Realizing she had slowed while appreciating Fitz's body, she thought she might try to pay him back for the trick he had played on her in the ocean, and instead of running hard to catch up to him, she ducked into the space between two houses and hid from him. As soon as she did this, she realized how childish she was being and stepped back out of her hiding spot. Fitz had apparently noticed that she was missing even in this short amount of time, because instead of being yards ahead as he had been before she hid, he was directly in her path and she almost crashed into him.

"What are you doing?" he asked her. Olivia felt her face reddening in embarrassment.

"I was hiding," she said sheepishly, toeing the ground with her sneaker.

To her surprise, Fitz laughed. "You're silly," he said. "Come on, no racing. Let's just run."

* * *

_Present Day, Late June, Early Morning_

Olivia knew the route by heart. So well that she could probably run it blindfolded. She and Fitz had run the same route every day when they were young. The four miles over pavement, beach, and boardwalk were spent each morning either in silence or in conversation – it didn't matter, as long as they were together. Now, Olivia ran alone, her legs aching and lungs burning. The more painful, the better.

Running was cathartic for her, as the physical pain helped with the emotional. Of course, it was also symbolic, as she often wished she could run from her real life, just as she had done so many summers ago when she and her father left the beach for the final time. She couldn't run away from her life now though, so running literally would have to suffice.

When Olivia hit the beach, she slowed to look out over the horizon. She could tell it was going to be a hot day. The bright blue of the sky at the horizon made her think of Fitz's eyes. She couldn't seem to get him off of her mind. There were just so many memories of him here. Not only the place they had met and the places they spent time together, but the place where he first kissed her, so gentle and sweet; the spot where she had tried to convince him to be her first and the place where he actually had been; even the location where she had promised to be his forever – and then broken that promise – was located nearby.

For probably the thousandth time, Olivia allowed herself to consider what would have been if she had stayed with Fitz. If she had, she would not have Emily, who was her main lifeline and reason for existence over most of the years since her birth. And Fitz would not have his two children, who she knew were his pride and joy. However, things would have been so different if they had been together. As young adults, she and Fitz had thought that the strength of their love could conquer the world. Of course, that same strength was what had scared Olivia from him and had in the end led to her marrying someone who she had never loved with the same intensity that she had held for Fitz.

The truth was that as a naïve teenager, Olivia had thought she would end up with Fitz even after she left him. Instead, she had heard that Fitz had moved on and gotten married. The pain of that news had been the worst emotional agony of her life. When her father had introduced her to Jake, his associate from work, she had not been looking to date, much less to marry. While Olivia had to ignore his short temper, Jake had proven to be loyal, interesting, and amusing, and with her father's encouragement, she was content to marry him. And now, he was gone too.

Realizing she was standing in one place when she was supposed to be running, Olivia stretched her calves and then turned to continue her run. Instead, she was once again surprised by Fitz appearing at her side.

"You still running?" he asked, and she wasn't sure if he was referring to whether she planned to continue this particular run or to the fact that it was he who had turned her into a runner in the first place. Or maybe he was asking if she was still running from him.

Instead of answering, she looked at him. He was dressed for running in long shorts and a t-shirt that hugged his chest muscles perfectly, but he was not sweaty or out of breath, as if he hadn't started his run yet. Her hand went to her messy ponytail as she again realized that he was seeing her in a less than perfect state – this time she was sure she looked even worse than she had at the store. He was holding a full water bottle, which he offered to her and she took gratefully.

"I need to talk to you," Fitz said, and Olivia's mind conjured what he had to tell her. She was sure it had to do with their dinner. The kids weren't interested, maybe. No, it would be that Mellie didn't want to come. She would not willingly want to have dinner with Olivia. It would be too awkward, especially without Jake there to balance things.

"What's up?" she asked finally.

"I didn't say anything when you invited us, but there's something I need you to know before I come over tomorrow," he said.

Olivia's stomach constricted with anxiety. This didn't sound promising.

"It's Mellie," he said.

Olivia looked away from him. So she was right – Mellie didn't want to come and she was also forbidding Fitz from coming. Was that it? "Mellie?" she repeated, sounding as if she hadn't heard of the woman.

"Olivia," Fitz said. She turned back to him and raised an eyebrow, wishing he would just say it and get it over with. "Mellie and I split up," he said.

"You…what?" Olivia couldn't hide her surprise at this information.

"A few months ago, actually," he continued. "I moved out of the house, actually I've been here at the beach house ever since."

"Oh God," Olivia said. "I'm so sorry." Was she sorry? Of course, she was. She felt awful for Fitz. And she felt incredibly stupid for having invited him over because now she would have to cancel. She couldn't have him coming over, alone, without Jake OR Mellie to serve as a buffer between them.

"Can we sit or do you want to run?" Fitz asked, pointing to a nearby bench.

"We can run and talk, right?" Olivia asked.

"I think so," Fitz said. "No racing," he added with a smile.

They started out running at a slow pace, side by side. Olivia's thoughts were everywhere but she had to admit that it felt right having him there, running next to her. "So," she said. "What happened?" As soon as she said it she wondered if she actually had the right to know. "I mean, if you don't want to talk about it that's okay."

"We finally admitted to ourselves that our marriage is over," he said. "We haven't been happy in years." There was a pause. Then, "Seeing you the last time made things even more clear, Liv."

Olivia winced. The last time she saw Fitz was the first time she had met Mellie. She and Jake had attended a cocktail party at the Grant house. Olivia hadn't wanted to go, but Jake said that her reluctance proved that she still had feelings for Fitz and so she had agreed to attend the party. Somehow, she and Fitz had ended up alone in a room together and if Olivia had wondered if she still felt strongly for Fitz, she was left without any doubts after their encounter. But she couldn't think about that.

"Are the kids okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, they were hardly surprised. Gerry stays with me a lot of the time. Karen feels like she still needs her mom though, so she stays with Mellie more. But they're both with me for the summer."

"And you?" Olivia asked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good," he said. "It's freeing to be alone, you know?" Did she know? To admit that Jake's death had freed her would cause way too much guilt. "I'm sorry," Fitz said, his hand brushing hers. "That was insensitive."

"We'll have to cancel our dinner," she said, knowing she sounded rude but also knowing how Emily would look at her if Fitz were to show up wife-less at their door.

"I already told my kids," he answered. "They're looking forward to it. Actually, they kind of think it's a date," he went on. "I told them it's not, I told them about your husband, but they both think I should move on. Start dating. And obviously you're not ready for this to be a date – I'm sorry. We shouldn't come."

Olivia wanted him to come. If she canceled, wouldn't it just show him that she didn't trust herself around him? That there truly was a problem with two friends having dinner together? Then again, when had Fitz just been her friend? "No," she said. "You should come. I want Emily to meet Gerry and Karen. And I…I want you to come. Please come."

"You sure?" Fitz stopped running and Olivia realized they were at the back gate of his house. It was an estate, really, much larger than the rental houses that Olivia had stayed in over the years.

"I'm sure. I'll see you tomorrow at 7."

* * *

Fitz had been having trouble sleeping ever since he ran into Olivia at the supermarket. When he had seen her standing in the produce section, he had hesitated about approaching her. He wasn't sure she would want to see him. And then, when he had spoken to her, she had seemed so sad. Somehow, he hadn't told her about his split with Mellie right away and he had let her believe they would both be coming to dinner at her house. He tossed and turned with his guilt at any anxiety he could have caused Olivia with his omission of this information.

When he left the house, he was hoping he would find Olivia by walking from his house to hers on the path they used to run on together. He had not had to walk long before he saw her standing on the beach. She was dressed in leggings and a tank top and with her hair in a ponytail she looked so much like the young girl he used to know. She was insanely beautiful, both then and now.

Fitz felt like he had been in love with Olivia for his entire life. Thirty years ago she had appeared in his path as a slightly geeky but amazingly beautiful teenager. At eighteen, a four year age difference was a big deal, but she never had seemed so much younger to him. They had spent their first summer together swimming, running, and having long conversations until all hours of the night. Although in the back of his mind, Fitz had been aware that Olivia most likely had a crush on him, he had kept it strictly platonic. It wasn't until the following summer when things had started to change.

Fitz couldn't pinpoint a moment when he had realized that he loved Olivia. He loved her and his love was fluid. He probably had loved her before he met her. He only wished she hadn't broken his heart.

Olivia had left him broken and hurt in a way he had never imagined. His current break up with Mellie hurt, because his ego was slightly sore, but it was nothing comparable to the pain he had felt back then. But now, she was back. And although her circumstances were far from perfect, technically she was single. Single and as beautiful as ever. He couldn't help but admire her perfect ass. He so wanted to wrap his arms around her and feel her body against his.

He knew she must be hurting from losing her husband, a man he had only officially met once. He assumed Olivia had loved the man, and his heart went out to her. He also empathized with Olivia's daughter. He knew what it was like to lose a parent at a young age. While he and Mellie no longer lived together, at least they were both available to their children.

Finally, as Olivia stretched her calves, Fitz approached her. "You still running?" he asked when she saw him. He saw the look in her eyes as she considered his question, and instead of prompting her for an answer, he handed her the water bottle he was holding. "I need to talk to you," he began.

Now, Fitz stepped into the shower. He had watched Olivia jog away from him and had needed to remind himself that she wasn't running for good. She was just heading back to her rental house. And he had plans with her for dinner the next evening. Placing his face under the stream of hot water, Fitz allowed himself a small smile.

She was here, in the same place he was, for the entire summer. She was here and she was beautiful.


	3. Summer Heat

Chapter 3: Summer Heat

_Present Day, Late June, Afternoon_

Olivia was scrubbing the house from top to bottom when Emily entered the kitchen wearing a pink tank top and cut off jean shorts. Olivia stopped the process of cleaning the floorboards and looked up at her daughter. "Are you going to the beach?" she asked.

"What are you doing?" Emily asked, in lieu of a reply.

Olivia stood up. "I'm cleaning. It's still pretty dusty after sitting closed all winter."

Emily raised an eyebrow. "You're cleaning to impress your old boyfriend and his family?" she asked. Her voice wasn't judgmental, just curious.

"No," Olivia answered. "I'm cleaning because the house needs cleaning."

Emily nodded. "Okay."

"The dinner is not going to be a big deal," Olivia said, turning to the counters and beginning to scrub them. "I'm not going to go through a lot of trouble for them."

"Okay," Emily said again and Olivia looked at her as if she had forgotten she was there.

Olivia signed. "Em, do you want to help me get ready, or are you going down to the beach?"

"I'll help if you want me to," Emily answered. Olivia shot her a grateful smile. "What should I do?" she asked.

Olivia began putting away her cleaning supplies. She had been working in the kitchen for an hour and she thought it looked fine. Now she needed to start cooking the food. "Do you want to set the table?"

"Sure," Emily said. "How many should I set for, six?"

"Yes," Olivia answered. "I think six is right. You can set up for six." She looked around the small kitchen and sighed, wondering what Fitz's kids would think of the tiny house. "Maybe we should eat outside," she said. "What do you think?"

Emily shrugged. "Yeah," she said. "Sounds good."

"Okay," Olivia said. She was happy that the house had patio furniture, including a table that she was sure they would all fit at, unlike the small table in the kitchen. "Okay, can you see what we have as far as plates?"

Emily opened some cabinets and took out some old looking plates with flowers on them. "These okay?" she asked.

Olivia regarded them critically. "Let's use the plain glass ones instead."

Emily just nodded. She thought that although her mother had claimed she did not want to go through a lot of trouble, she actually was doing just that. She washed the silverware (even though it was already clean) as Olivia seasoned the steaks, cleaned and wrapped the potatoes for baking, and drizzled the asparagus with olive oil.

"We'll have ice cream for dessert," Olivia told Emily, although Emily already knew that Olivia had brought home ice cream along with the steaks the day that she had made these dinner plans in the first place.

"Mom, are you sure you're ready for this?" Emily asked. As far as she knew, Olivia hadn't done much socializing at all since Emily's dad died, and she was worried whether her mother could hold herself together in a social situation.

"Yes," Olivia answered, shooting her daughter a smile. "Are you okay?"

Emily tried to smile back, imagining her face looked more like a grimace. "I'm okay," she replied.

* * *

_3 hours later_

At 17 years old and about to start his senior year in high school, Gerry Grant, while being a good student, had two main things on his mind. Sports – he played soccer and ran cross country – and girls. So when his father mentioned that Olivia had a 16 year old daughter, he was happy to join in for dinner at their house. He was more than thrilled when the door to the small beach house was opened by the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen. She was small and slim, but perfectly curvy in all the right places. Her brown eyes were huge and warm. Her dark brown hair was curly and looked silky enough to touch. Her bronzed skin looked even more inviting and he wished it was appropriate for teenagers to shake hands. He wished he could kiss her.

Gerry felt his father gently guiding him into the house. "You must be Emily!" he said, and when the girl nodded an affirmation, he made introductions. "I'm Fitz Grant, and this is my son Gerry. And my daughter Karen." Karen had been standing behind Gerry and was less excited about the dinner than he was. She was now lingering by the doorway and Gerry shot her a look. She moved to stand beside him.

"I'm Gerry," he said to Emily, smiling in what he hoped was a friendly fashion. "This is Karen."

"Dad just said that, dork," Karen said. Gerry shoved her gently and smiled at Emily again.

"I'm Emily," she said. Gerry loved her voice. This girl had the whole package.

Just then, a woman appeared behind Emily, and the woman was even more beautiful than the girl version of herself. Wow. Gerry suddenly understood the dreamy look that had been in his father's eyes for the past few days. He watched as Fitz stepped forward and planted a kiss on Olivia's face. Gerry was sure it was supposed to be a kiss on the cheek, but to him it looked suspiciously close to her mouth. When Fitz stepped back, Olivia was blushing prettily.

"I brought wine," Fitz announced, handing a bottle to Olivia.

She took it and smiled, and turning towards Karen, she said, "I'm so glad you could come. It's perfect that you and Emily are so close in age!"

Karen smirked. "Thanks for having us!" she said. "We were so happy that Dad wanted to get out of the house!"

Gerry snorted a little at his sister and Fitz said her name warningly. Olivia looked at Gerry then. "You look so much like your father," she said. Gerry was used to hearing this, but somehow, the way she said it, the wistfulness in her voice, told him that she was remembering Fitz the way he used to be and he wasn't sure how to respond.

He was distracted by Emily, who had moved towards the front door and was looking outside. Apparently she decided that whatever she was looking for wasn't there, and she turned back quickly, her hair swinging around her as she did so. She stalked past the group, shooting a look at her mother that Gerry couldn't interpret, and went into the kitchen and out the back door. A few seconds later, she returned carrying a plate and place setting, which she deposited on the counter.

Olivia looked embarrassed. "We set up to eat outside," she announced. "I hope that's okay with everyone!"

"Sounds great," Fitz replied, his smile bright as he looked at Olivia.

Everyone headed towards the deck while Gerry hung back, wanting to speak to Emily, who was still standing by the kitchen counter. Olivia also paused in the kitchen, rummaging through the drawers and saying, "I know there's a corkscrew here somewhere."

Gerry stepped forwards, removing his keys from his pocket. He had a Swiss Army Knife keychain that had a small corkscrew attachment. He held it out to Olivia, who at the same time withdrew a real corkscrew from the drawer. She smiled at him anyway, and he felt himself blush.

"Emily, would you like some wine with your dinner?" Olivia asked her daughter.

Gerry looked up at this with interest. He was allowed to drink one glass of wine at dinner parties, though he had on occasion drunk more.

Emily looked past her mother and met his eyes. He could feel the blood rushing towards the center of his body and he broke the eye contact, trying to gain control of himself. He looked up again as Emily answered her mother. "I'd love some."

* * *

Olivia took a sip of her wine as she watched Emily interacting with Gerry and Karen. At first, it had seemed that the two girls were bonding, while Gerry concentrated on eating his dinner. Then, Emily and Gerry stared talking and laughing at something while Karen paid them little attention. Now, Gerry was telling a story about some kids at his school that ended with a punch line that Olivia didn't catch and all three began to laugh uproariously. Olivia had longed to see Emily look so happy and hoped that she was genuinely enjoying the company and not merely demonstrating the effects of the wine she had drunk.

"See anything familiar?" Fitz asked from where he sat beside her, his voice low near her ear.

"He really does look like you," Olivia answered.

"And she looks like you," Fitz replied.

"Does anyone want any more food?" Olivia asked in a voice that was slightly too loud. Both Gerry and Fitz had eaten well, wolfing down their steak like it was their last meal. The girls, Olivia included, had eaten less, though everyone claimed to enjoy the cooking.

"I'm full, but how about some more wine?" Gerry offered, shooting a grin at Fitz.

"No more wine," Fitz replied.

"Gerry, where are you applying to school, do you think?" Olivia asked, realizing the boy probably heard this question more often than he would prefer, but she was genuinely curious.

"I'm actually not sure yet," Gerry answered. "I'd like to go somewhere far away, but Dad doesn't agree."

"I want you to stay close," Fitz said. "Both of you." He looked at Olivia. "If they go too far away, they might not visit, and then I'd be all alone."

"Where's your wife?" The question came from Emily and Olivia knew her daughter had been holding it in ever since the Grants had arrived without Mellie.

There was a pause around the table as everyone looked to Fitz for his reply. He cleared his throat, again looking at Olivia. "She's in the city," he replied.

"The city?" Emily repeated, the question directed at Fitz, but her eyes on Olivia.

"My mom decided she'd be happier on her own," Karen spoke up.

"Not on her own," Fitz said. "Just away from me."

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows. He actually sounded bitter. When they had spoken the day before, she thought he had seemed happy with the separation.

"Do you have any scotch?" Fitz asked her.

"I think so," Olivia answered, jumping to her feet.

"I don't know if you should drink any more, Daddy," Karen offered.

"I don't know if that's up to you, Honey," Fitz replied.

Olivia looked between the two of them. Karen appeared annoyed, or maybe just embarrassed, while Fitz was sending warning looks towards both of his kids.

"I think my dad is a little nervous to be here with your mom," Gerry said in a stage whisper to Emily, who didn't look happy to hear this at all.

"Why don't I get dessert?" Olivia suggested in an attempt to divert the conversation. "We have ice cream."

"I'm not really hungry anymore," Emily replied, and the other kids agreed with her quickly.

"How about a walk on the beach?" Gerry suggested, standing and grabbing Emily's hand to pull her up with him.

"Mom?" Emily said tentatively, and Olivia nodded her permission.

As the two older children started off the deck, Fitz called, "Gerry, Karen is coming too."

"I am?" Karen said, and now she definitely sounded annoyed.

"Yes," Fitz answered. He looked at his watch. "Be back by 11."

And then all three were gone, and Fitz and Olivia were left alone.

* * *

_1985, Late June, Night_

Olivia lay flat out on the sand, apparently not caring that when she got up, she would have sand on her clothing. Fitz sat by her head, considering whether she would be okay with him running his hands through her hair. Fitz had finished his first year of college and although he had met and even dated girls, as soon as he and Olivia were reunited, she was the only girl he had looked at or thought about. Over the past 10 months since they had separated at the end of the summer prior, Olivia had changed from a shy, pretty girl, to a confident, gorgeous girl. She had met him on his doorstep when she and her father got to town and she had thrown herself at him for a hug. He hadn't expected the softness of her curves and the smoothness of her skin to cause an instant reaction in his body. Suddenly it was no longer possible for Fitz to deny his attraction to Olivia.

A few minutes ago, they had stepped onto the beach together and Olivia had thrown her head back to look at the stars. "It's like a planetarium out here," she said, spinning around and causing Fitz to laugh. Then she had flopped down in the sand.

Her hands were placed on either side of her head and Fitz could not hold himself back from taking her right hand into his. He felt her tense at the moment he touched her, but she didn't pull away. He lifted her hand, holding it over his leg, admiring how small and dainty her hand was compared to his larger, rough one. He ran his thumb over her hand and a jolt of pleasure went through him as she entwined her fingers with his.

"Wow," Olivia said softly. She was looking at the stars, but Fitz was looking at her.

"I know," he replied, just as softly.

She tilted her head backwards to look at him and he held her gaze for a moment, just long enough to be sure she knew the meaning of his response. He smiled, and leaned back to look at the sky. Olivia let go of his hand and sat up slowly. "Fitz?" she said.

He reached for her, pulling her into him, and she molded her body into his chest, placing her head over his heart. He nuzzled her hair with his face, inhaling her sweet scent. His heart was beating out of his chest and he was sure she could feel it through the thin t-shirt he wore. "My heart is beating so hard," he told her.

"I feel it," she answered, replacing her head with her hand. She looked up at his face and he inhaled slowly, trying to calm his heartbeat.

Fitz looked at her eyes, and then her lips, licking his own. He leaned towards her, and at the same time, she leaned her face towards his. They met halfway, Fitz pressing his lips into hers, gently at first, then with increased pressure. Time seemed to freeze and nothing existed in that moment outside of the two of them. Olivia's lips parted and the kiss grew more passionate. She moaned in a way that he found so completely erotic that he knew he never wanted to stop kissing her for the rest of his life. He used his tongue to probe her lips and soon her tongue met his in response. Her hands went to the sides of his head and her nails moved over his scalp. If he thought his heart was beating hard before, it was positively racing now. He threaded his fingers into her hair and she suddenly gasped, pulling away from him. They stared at each other for a moment. "Are you okay?" Fitz whispered.

"I couldn't breathe," Olivia replied, and indeed her words came out in a breathless rush.

He smiled and pulled her back into his chest, cradling her head as he lay back in the sand. With her head on his shoulder, they watched the stars and listened to the ocean, together imagining that they were the only two people in the world.

* * *

_Present Day, Late June, Night_

Emily stepped onto the beach and lowered herself to the bottom step to remove her shoes. Gerry and Karen both followed her lead. She stayed seated while they got up, shoving each other a bit. She couldn't help smiling at them – she had always wished she had a sibling. "You coming?" Gerry asked and she stood up beside him. He reached for her hand and held it and she let him.

They walked with the houses on their left and the ocean on their right. Emily looked out at the ocean and then up at the stars. "The sky is so beautiful here," she commented. The only part of her body she was aware of was the hand that Gerry held on to. The rest of her was floating away with her buzz from her glass of wine.

Karen walked ahead of them and Emily pretended she was on a date. She had never been on a real date before, although boys did pay her attention at school. Gerry was different though – he was so confident, holding her hand like that with no worry that she didn't want to.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Emily asked him softly.

"Not currently," he replied. "How about you?"

"I have girlfriends," she said with a smile.

"Ha ha," he said. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No," Emily replied honestly.

"Why not?"

"I don't know, I just don't," Emily said, thinking maybe she had been waiting for him to come along.

"I don't have one either!" Karen said from her spot a few feet ahead, and Emily blushed with the realization that she had heard the conversation. Neither responded to Karen and all three continued walking. Emily realized that Gerry was purposely slowing his steps so that the space between them and Karen grew.

"Do you do any sports?" Gerry asked Emily.

"I'm on the swim team," Emily responded.

"That's cool. I do soccer and cross country."

"My mom likes to run, but I don't," Emily commented.

"My dad runs too," Gerry said.

"Mine did too," Emily answered.

"Your dad died, right?" Gerry asked.

Emily was surprised. She had never discussed her father's death with anyone her own age. Most of the kids at school seemed to shy away from her after the news of his death spread. "Yes," she answered him.

"In a car accident?"

"Yes."

Gerry stopped walking and faced Emily. "I'm really sorry you had to go through that," he said. "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to one of my parents. Or to Karen." Gerry looked towards his sister, who was still walking along the beach ahead of them. Then he looked back to Emily. "How do you handle it?" he asked her.

Emily didn't know how to answer. The fact was, she didn't think she was "handling" her father's death at all. Finally she decided to be honest. "I don't," she told him.

"Yeah," he said. "I hear that."

He reached for her then, one hand landing on her hip and the other brushing her hair back from her face. She stifled a gasp. Slowly, he lowered his head towards hers and pressed his lips to hers. Emily felt her knees buckling into him and she placed her hand against his side to steady herself. His body was solid. She felt warmth radiating from each part of him that touched her and at the same time, she felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. Her father's face was in her mind. If he was here, would she tell him about her first kiss? The saddest part was that she probably would not have. Tears sprung to her eyes as Gerry drew back and looked at her. Without a word, he used his knuckle to wipe a tear from her face. She smiled and took his hand, pulling him as she hurried to catch up with Karen before she walked too far ahead and they lost her.

* * *

After the kids left, Olivia went inside and found the scotch. She brought it outside to Fitz, along with the ice cream and a lightweight cardigan, which she put on over her tank top and jeans. She was aware of Fitz's eyes on her as she sat on the edge of the chaise lounge. "So, that went well, don't you think?" she said.

"Definitely. Especially now that we got rid of all of the kids."

Olivia smiled. Fitz poured them each a shot glass of scotch. Then he stood from the table and moved to sit next to Olivia on the chaise. "Fitz," Olivia said softly.

"What?"

"You can't sit here."

"Why not?"

"Because I think I drank too much."

"And?"

"And," she said. "Do you think we have to worry about the kids?" she asked him, aware she was changing the subject. Fitz sat beside her.

"I'm not worried," he said. "Gerry will watch out for the girls."

Olivia thought of the summers she had spent with Fitz. The last summer they were together, she was eighteen, an adult. And yet, she had allowed herself to remain a child, controlled by her father. She had watched from the window as her father forced Fitz to leave the house and she had done nothing. It had been her choice, enforced by her father, as had most things in her life.

"I never told Emily about us," she said. "And I never told Jake."

"What do you mean? Jake knew we were together."

"No, I mean, I never told him about the end."

"Why didn't you tell him?" he asked, his eyes boring into hers in that intense way of his.

"I guess I just wanted to keep that part of my past private," she said. "Do your kids know?"

"I don't know how much they know," he answered. "Mellie might have said something. She was always jealous of you, because you were first."

"I also never told Jake what happened at your party."

"Ah," Fitz said. "I don't imagine he would have liked to hear about that. Mellie knows about it," he added. He let his hand fall lightly onto Olivia's thigh.

Heat rushed through Olivia's body. She reached for his hand and lifted it off of her leg. "You can't do that," she said. "I'm not yours to touch."

"But you were," he said.

"I was yours 26 years ago."

"And you let me touch you at my party."

"I shouldn't have," she breathed, her hand still holding onto his.

"I understand," he said softly. "You had a mostly happy marriage. You have a child with him. You aren't ready for this."

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready," she whispered.

"It's okay, I can wait," he said.

"Fitz."

"I know. I'm sorry, I'm being too forward. Can we see each other again?"

Before Olivia could compose an answer, they heard voices and feet on the steps. Olivia dropped Fitz's hand and stood up as Karen appeared on the deck, followed by Emily and Gerry, who were holding hands. Olivia's eyes widened and she looked down at Fitz, who was still sitting. He was smiling. Emily was 16. When Olivia was 16, she had done much more with Fitz than just hold his hand. At 16, she slept with Fitz for the first time. She professed her undying love for him.

Seeing Gerry, a virtual replica of Fitz when she had met him, with Emily, touched Olivia's heart in ways she couldn't describe.

"We're going to see each other tomorrow," Gerry announced.

"Okay," Fitz agreed. "If it's okay with Olivia, of course." He looked at her, his eyebrows raised.

"It's fine with me," she said. In her head, she thought it probably shouldn't be fine. Her daughter would fall in love with the younger Grant just as she had fallen for the older, and that shouldn't be okay with her.

"Can you drive me to Gerry's house tomorrow around 7?" Emily asked.

"Yes," Olivia answered.

"I guess we'll see you tomorrow then," Fitz answered, standing up. "Thank you so much for dinner, Liv." He shot her his devastatingly handsome grin and she knew he was already looking forward to seeing her again.

Olivia and Emily walked the Grants to the front door and watched them leave. When their car was gone, Emily turned to Olivia. "Why didn't you tell me his wife wasn't coming?"

Olivia sighed. "I didn't know," she said.

"You knew," Emily replied.

"I knew as of yesterday," Olivia admitted. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what to say."

"Gerry said his dad considered this a date," Emily said.

"He might have," Olivia said. She sighed again. "I didn't consider it a date though." Emily's look told her that she didn't believe her mother.

Olivia hoped that Gerry didn't know the whole story about her past with his father. If he and Emily grew close – or if Emily grew close with Karen for that matter – she didn't want to be worried that her secret would come out. She believed she was entitled to the secret of her past – it was hers, not Emily's, not Jake's. It was hers and Fitz's. She closed her eyes briefly. This summer might prove to be even more difficult than she had anticipated. And it was all her fault. She had invited Fitz and the kids over, she'd introduced Emily to Gerry and Karen. If it all came out, it would be her own fault.

"What are you and Gerry going to do tomorrow?" she asked Emily.

"I don't know," she replied.

"Did you have a good time tonight?" Emily's face softened and Olivia detected a slight blush to her cheeks. She looked away, but she nodded. Olivia reached for her daughter and hugged her. Although she was a teenager in body and mind, to Olivia she would always be the tiny baby she had rocked to sleep nightly. "Good night, Em," she said.

**AN: Thank you everyone for your feedback, it means a lot to me! I am going out of town for about a week, so the next chapter won't be up until I return. Have a great holiday season!**


	4. Summer Nights Part 1

Chapter 4: Summer Nights Part 1

_Present Day, Early July, Evening_

After their dinner and walk on the beach, Gerry and Emily spent time together every day. Because of this, Olivia saw Fitz every day too. There were times when she brought Emily to the Grant house and she ended up sitting with Fitz at the kitchen table. When Gerry came to their place, Fitz walked with him and came in to say hello. One evening he convinced Olivia to play a card game with him and they spent the time catching up on the past twenty-six years – she told him about Emily as a baby and he talked about Gerry as a rambunctious toddler and Karen as a precocious pre-teen. They discussed their respective careers – they had both completed law school but neither had practiced law for long. They talked about various every day normal things. While the past was referred to and smiled about, they avoided the topic of their relationship. They didn't discuss their marriages either. As the days passed, Olivia became more comfortable with Fitz being present in her life. It was almost as if they time they had been apart didn't matter. Almost, but not quite.

On a night when Gerry and Emily had gone down to the beach for a party, Olivia was sitting on the couch in the living room and drinking a glass of wine. She glanced out of the window and saw a lone figure standing on the sidewalk in front of the house. He had on jeans and a t-shirt and had his hands in his pockets. His head was lowered and he wore a baseball cap, but Olivia knew it was Fitz. Without giving it a second thought, Olivia stood, put her glass down, and slipped on her flip flops. She opened the door and met Fitz on the sidewalk. He raised his head to look at her, his blue eyes looking so sad that Olivia reached out and took his hand. They started to walk together towards the beach, neither speaking and neither needing to clarify just what it was that they were doing.

When they got to the beach, they sat facing the water. Fitz turned to her. "I miss you, Livvie," he said. "I don't know how I survived the years without you when each minute without you now is like torture."

His words were like poetry and the sound of her nickname warmed her heart, but Olivia didn't know how to respond. The truth was that she missed him too, but her guilty conscience held her back.

"I was married for twenty years," she said softly. "I can't just move on from that."

"Having you here is like being a teenager again," he said.

"We can't go back to the past," she said. "Too much has happened. We're both different people now."

"We were in love," he said. He looked to the ocean and she looked at him. His face was so beautiful; so familiar even now. She longed to reach out and trace his strong jaw line but she shifted and sat on her hands instead.

"We were," she replied.

"I love you now, Livvie," he said, still not looking directly at her. "When Mellie and I split up and I heard that Jake died – I know, it's awful, but I thought we could have a chance again." He turned to face her. He lifted his hand and used his thumb to trace a line down her cheek. "I never stopped loving you. I never got over you, Livvie," he said.

She shook her head. "You got married," she said. "You had two kids."

"It was never right," he said. "And I only got married after I heard you did."

Olivia's eyes shot up to his. "That's not true," she said indignantly.

"It is true," he said, his eyebrows coming together as he regarded her with confusion.

"No," she said. "It can't be. Because I only married Jake after I heard you were married."

"I don't understand," Fitz said, regarding her intently.

Olivia tried to think. "My father," she whispered. It had to be her father; he had been the one to tell her Fitz had moved on, to introduce her to Jake, to encourage her to love him and be with him. If Fitz hadn't really been married at the time, her whole marriage had been based on a manipulation. She covered her eyes, embarrassed by the hot tears forming out of her thoughts. "He told me he spoke to you," she choked out. "He said you told him you'd never forgive me for leaving you and it was time I moved on."

Fitz had his arm around her and before she could stop him, he pulled her into his chest. "I never talked to your father, Livvie," he said in a soft, faraway voice. His hand stroked over her back as her body shook with the weight of the revelation. "I am so sorry," he whispered into her hair.

With a hand on her shoulder, Fitz gently pushed her back from his body. She sniffled, and looked at him, confused as to what he was doing as he gazed into her eyes. His hand raised to her neck, cradling her face. A second later, his lips approached hers and he kissed her. He tasted like memories, like summer, and like true love and for a moment she lost herself, leaning into him, responding to his mouth on hers. She felt herself melting into him and her hand moved automatically to the back of his head, gripping onto the silky curls below his baseball cap. She felt his tongue on the seam of her lips and she jerked back.

"No," she said, shaking her head for emphasis.

"No?"

"I can't. I can't kiss you, Fitz."

He smiled. "You just did, Livvie." She shook her head again. "That's okay," he said. "You can pretend it didn't happen. But I won't forget it."

Olivia stood up. She was supposed to be a woman in mourning. She shouldn't be kissing another man so soon, even if the man was Fitz. "I can't do this," she said to the ocean. "I just lost my husband."

Fitz stood, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You know you broke my heart, Olivia," he said. "I know what it feels like to lose someone you love."

"Please, Fitz," she said. "You have to let me go."

"No," he replied. "I can't. When you're ready, I'm going to be here waiting for you."

Olivia felt like screaming, like slapping him, like wrapping herself around him and using his body to help her release her uncontrollable emotions. "Please," she whispered. "I want to go home." She turned and began to retrace their earlier steps towards her house. After a moment, Fitz caught up with her. This time, they didn't hold hands.

When they reached the sidewalk in front her house, she stopped and looked at him. "I broke your heart, Fitz," she said. He nodded. "And yet you still want me?" She didn't understand why in one breath he could tell her that she'd broken him and in the next he could refuse to let her go.

"I love you," he replied. Olivia's eyes closed. "You never apologized, Liv," Fitz said, and she opened her eyes. She could see pain written on his face, the same pain that was there so many years ago. "You left me and you didn't even tell me why. I understand now," he went on. "I realize you were too young and you were scared. You didn't explain or apologize, but I forgive you. Your father lied. I do forgive you."

Olivia felt the tears in her throat before they reached her eyes. She couldn't handle Fitz's emotions on top of her own. "Good night," she whispered, turning from him and walking to her front door. When she turned back just before entering the house, Fitz still stood on the sidewalk, his head lowered, just as it had been when she had seen him standing there earlier. She went inside and closed the door.

* * *

_1985, July Fourth, Evening_

Olivia left her house after a fight with her father. It had started out the way their yearly July Fourth argument usually began – she requested permission to attend a party on the beach for the holiday and her father pointed out that Black Americans should not celebrate the Fourth of July as a holiday, since slavery in America had continued long past this so-called Independence Day. Olivia disagreed, arguing that every teenager in town, whether black or white, would be at the party, and therefore she could not miss it. Her father then suggested that Olivia was not every teenager and should not try to be like every teenager, and Olivia had tried a different tactic – reminding him that she was a motherless daughter and claiming that if her mother had been there, she would have understood and allowed Olivia to go.

After that, Olivia's father turned the discussion to Fitz. He was too old for her. Not only that, he was white. He could be after only one thing and once he used her, he would leave her. Olivia's father stressed that if this was to happen, he would not listen to Olivia's tears. On the other hand, he would be more than willing to press charges against Fitz for statutory rape. At that point, Olivia had to force herself to remain respectful. "Fitz and I aren't going to be alone," she told her father.

"You know what Olivia?" her father sneered. "You go ahead. Have a good time."

Reverse psychology wasn't going to work. As much as Olivia did care what her father thought, she cared about Fitz more. And so, she was in an irritated mood as she headed to the location she and Fitz had agreed upon earlier. Her chest was tight, her fists were clenched, and she felt hot all over, although she was clad in her usual cut off jean shorts and a tank top, this one light blue and thin. When she saw Fitz up ahead, she increased her pace to get to him. He was facing away from her so she came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He turned his head and smiled down at her. "Hi Livvie," he said and planted a kiss on the top of her head. She instantly felt herself relax.

She didn't tell him about her argument with her father. Fitz was nineteen years old and could do what he wanted. She didn't need to remind him that technically she was still a child. But as they walked to the party together in silence, her gripping his hand tightly, she knew he could tell that something was bothering her. When they arrived at the party, which was located on a stretch of beach away from the area where families gathered for picnics and the fireworks show, Olivia headed straight for the large tub of drinks. She fished out a wine cooler and whooped excitedly. Olivia had tried beer a few times and she hated the taste. Wine coolers were her favorite. Someone opened the bottle for her and she took a long drink before turning to look for Fitz. He was watching her with a half-smile on his face and she smiled back, swinging her hips to the loud Bruce Springsteen song playing on a nearby boombox, and sashaying towards him. He caught her by the waist and she threw back her head in laughter before gulping down more of her drink.

Over the next hour, Olivia continued drinking wine coolers and dancing while laughing and not thinking about her father. When the fireworks began, she leaned up against Fitz's chest and he held her hand and she thought about how romantic it would be if the two of them were alone and not surrounded by a hundred other kids. After ten minutes of the show, Olivia hopped to her feet, ignoring the fact that she swayed slightly due to the alcohol in her system. She grabbed Fitz's hand and tugged and he stood too. If he wondered what she was doing, he didn't ask. He followed her gamely towards the sand dunes between the beach and the road and when she turned to him and pushed him lightly on the chest, he sat, pulling her into his lap.

Olivia began kissing his face and with the fireworks still lighting up the sky, she couldn't believe how beautiful he looked. "You are so sexy," she murmured, and then broke into a fit of giggles at how silly the words sounded coming from her mouth.

"You're drunk," Fitz replied, kissing her lips and then her cheek. "But thank you."

"I am not!" Olivia protested, shoving him in the shoulder.

"You are," he said. He lay back into the sand and Olivia straddled him. She leaned her head back to look at the fireworks and immediately felt dizzy.

"Ooh," she said, bracing her hands on his chest. She leaned forwards and kissed him again, this time deeply, and without even meaning to, she ground her hips into his. She gasped at the sensation that shot through her body and she did it again, purposely this time.

"Liv, stop that," Fitz said, grasping her hips and holding her steady.

She felt brave and sexy and so ready and she cocked her head to the side. "Fitz, have you had sex before?" she asked, in a voice that she hoped sounded flirty and not too insecure.

Before she realized what he was doing, Fitz had sat up and removed her from his lap. "You're drunk," he said again.

Her heart sank as she realized his point – he wasn't going to give her what she wanted. "You don't want me?" she pouted. "Please tell me you aren't going to say that I'm too young," she added. Her inner fear that her age concerned Fitz was only enhanced by the alcohol in her system on top of her father's earlier comments.

Fitz raked his hand through his unruly curls. "I want you," he replied, looking away from her. "Just not like this."

"Like what?" she asked, standing and spreading her arms wide. The firework show was concluding and the finale had the entire sky lit up. She twirled and the dizziness came again. She tried to focus on Fitz's face and saw he looked upset. "Are you afraid I'll regret it if my first time is when I've been drinking? Or on the beach? Or with you? Wait, maybe that's it. You don't want to be my first! Well, I could just head back over there and find someone else to take the pressure off of you!" She pointed towards the party and took a stumbling step in that direction.

Fitz stood and grabbed her hand. "Stop it," he said. "We can talk about this when you're sober." He started to walk, pulling her with him, but Olivia tripped over her own feet and landed on her knees in the sand. Her stomach rolled and without warning, she vomited, the mess barely missing Fitz's feet. "Shit!" he cried, jumping back, but then coming towards her again. He lifted her and propped her up facing the dunes, holding her as she threw up again.

She took deep breaths, trying to settle her stomach, as tears rolled down her face. She swiped her hand over her mouth and gagged a bit, before shaking Fitz's hands off of her and standing up again. "I'm sorry," she said. She looked at him and the way he stared at her in genuine concern made her laugh. "I'm fine," she said. She took a few steps and tripped again.

In an instant, Fitz was beside her, his arm around her waist holding her steady. "You're not fine, Olivia," he told her seriously. "I'm taking you home."

"No!" she shouted and when he jumped, she said it again in a whisper. "No. You can't take me home, my father will think you did this to me and he'll never let me see you again. Or maybe…" She trailed off, looking towards the ocean. "Maybe he'll decide that he can't take care of me anymore and I'll run away and come stay with you!" She wasn't even sure what she was saying but she kept talking. "Although you don't want me either, isn't that right? Especially now that I threw up all over the place. You'd have to be crazy to want me now." Fitz had guided Olivia off the beach and when she stepped onto the sidewalk, she groaned. "The sand here is too hard!" She stomped her foot and looked around. "I can't see the ocean anymore, Fitz!"

Fitz was quiet, letting her ramble, probably hoping she wasn't going to throw up again. She thought she was feeling better, but she still didn't want to go home, although her father likely wouldn't notice her anyway. "Here we are," Fitz said and she looked up, realizing they were in front of her house. Olivia looked at Fitz, then at the house, considering whether she could get away with sneaking him inside with her. Before she could express her thought out loud, Fitz quickly pecked her on the cheek. "Drink some water. I'll talk to you tomorrow," he said, and then walked away.

* * *

_Present Day, Fourth of July, Morning_

Emily watched her mother preparing a picnic to take to the beach that night. Over the past few days, her mother's mood had changed from slightly manic to more subdued. She had stopped accompanying Emily when she went to Gerry's house and she had less to say when Emily came back. She wasn't aware of what in particular had changed her mother's attitude, but she was sure it had everything to do with Fitz.

"Mom?" she said, as Olivia moved to the refrigerator in search of ingredients for the sandwiches she was making. At her mother's glance in her direction, she continued. "I told Gerry and Karen we would meet them tonight," she said.

Olivia stood still now, regarding Emily. "Is their father coming too?" she asked. "Maybe I should stay here."

"He's coming," Emily confirmed. "But I don't think you should stay home."

"Oh?" Olivia questioned.

Emily suddenly felt like she was the mom in the situation and Olivia was the teenager trying to avoid what could be an uncomfortable situation. "Fitz cares about you," she said, watching her mother turn away and brace her hands on the counter. "Gerry and I talked about it and we think his father could actually help you be happy."

Olivia turned back to Emily. "You and Gerry talked about this?" she asked, and Emily could tell she was embarrassed.

"Actually, I talked to Fitz too," she admitted.

"What?" Olivia gasped. "What did he say?"

Emily smiled. Her mother sounded so much like a teenager with a crush. While just a few weeks ago, Emily had thought that her mother had no right to even speak to another man, she now realized her mother wasn't trying to replace her father. She had known Fitz first, after all. "He said you and he are friends and you've been friends for a long time. He said he hates to see you sad. And he said he met Daddy and liked him." That bit of their conversation had made Emily trust Fitz a little more.

Olivia shook her head. "That's all he said?" she asked.

Emily nodded. She knew there had been more to her mother's relationship with Fitz than just friendship. She realized that they had probably been in love at some point. Gerry even believed that Fitz still loved Olivia. As much as she wanted her mother to be happy though, she wasn't going to encourage more than friendship between her and Fitz. Having her mother's attention, she asked her something else that had been on her mind. "How do you know if you're in love?" she asked.

Olivia looked surprised by this turn in their conversation. She regarded Emily curiously. "Is this about Gerry?" she asked. "It's much too soon for you to think you're in love."

Emily rolled her eyes. "It's not only about Gerry," she said. "I just want to know. I mean, how did you know that you wanted to marry Daddy?" she asked.

Olivia moved to the table and sat down, looking at Emily seriously. "When I met your father I wasn't looking to get married," she began. "We started dating and after a while I realized it was time."

"You got married because it was time?" Emily questioned. "Weren't you in love with him?"

"To be honest, I don't know if I was. He made me laugh and I knew he would take care of me. I took a chance."

Emily didn't know how to respond to this bit of information about her mother that she had never realized. "But you did love him, right?" she asked.

Olivia smiled. "I did come to love him. We were together a long time. And we had you. Not that having a child will make a couple find love, but your arrival made us a family."

Emily considered this. Marriage without love didn't sit right with her. "If you never married him, you wouldn't be a widow now," she pointed out.

Olivia nodded. "That's true, but I also wouldn't have you." Emily didn't respond and her mother reached for her hand. "Emily, we should talk about you and Gerry."

"What about him?" she asked, withdrawing her hand from her mother's.

"Emily, he's a seventeen year old boy. And you are a beautiful girl. Summer relationships can move very quickly because you get to be together so often. But I want you to know, you shouldn't confuse sex for love. And if you're not ready…"

"Mom!" Emily interrupted. "Gerry and I aren't having sex." This was true. Although they had definitely spoken about doing so soon. "You don't have to worry," she added, hoping her mother would lay off.

"I just want you to know you can talk to me about anything. And I know we've discussed using protection…"

"Thanks Mom," Emily interrupted again. She stood from the table. "I'm going to get ready, now okay?" Without waiting for her mother's reply, she turned and headed to her room to change.

* * *

_Later that night…_

Olivia regarded herself in the mirror in her bedroom. She wanted to look cute but casual, and she had put on her favorite "boyfriend" style jeans and a striped navy and white tank top. She felt July Fourth appropriate, but not so much that she was over doing it.

Olivia was nervous about seeing Fitz. After the other night and their kiss, she hadn't spoken to him. The problem with not speaking to him was that she now realized how much she missed spending time with him. That night, she had cried again, though this time her tears were less about missing Jake and more about the realization that her father had tricked her into marrying him in the first place. To know that Fitz hadn't actually told her father that he was over her and that he wanted her to move on left her heartbroken in an entirely new way. And now that Emily had recounted her own conversation with Fitz, Olivia was even more confused about his intentions. Maybe he really did just want to be there for her; to make her feel less sad.

What she had told Emily about summer love was something she had experienced herself. Every day she and Fitz had grown closer. After her drunken attempt at seducing him on the Fourth of July when she was fifteen (a memory that embarrassed her every year since), things had returned to normal between them. They attended parties at night and swam during the day, they ran every morning, and talked late every night. They kissed and touched one another, but they put the topic of sex on hold until the following summer. The time between summers was difficult – she missed him so completely, though they wrote to each other and talked on the phone for special occasions like holidays and birthdays. In the days before cell phones and social media, they had gotten through the days without each other somehow. But the summer days, and later, the nights that they spent together had solidified their relationship in a way that typical young love did not benefit from. Now, she could almost imagine experiencing summer love again.

Deciding her outfit looked fine, Olivia headed to the bathroom to touch up her makeup and fix her hair. She had straightened it and she thought it looked grown up but still youthful in a way she hadn't felt in a long time. With a dab of lip gloss and mascara, she felt ready to face the fireworks – and Fitz. She left the bedroom and went to the kitchen where she finished packing their picnic, collected Emily, and together, they headed out the door.


	5. Summer Nights Part 2

**AN: Hi lovely readers! Thank you for sticking with me! I wanted to assure you that hopefully your questions will be answered as the story comes along. To those of you who are uncomfortable with the relationship between Gerry and Emily, you probably won't like what is coming for them, but their relationship is important to the overall story. I would just remind you that they are in no way related to each other! **

**There is sex in this chapter but I don't think it's enough to warrant a change to an M rating. I hope you find it acceptable!**

Chapter 5: Summer Nights Part 2

_Present Day, July Fourth, Night_

Karen led the way as the group moved across the sand, looking for a place among the crowd where they could sit together to watch the fireworks. She carried the blanket on which they would sit and was apparently unhappy with the available patches of sand available because she had been searching for a good five minutes already.

Fitz, carrying the cooler that Olivia had filled with sandwiches and snacks, was in the rear of the group, behind Olivia, who carried two thermoses – at least one of which he hoped contained some sort of alcohol. Olivia had greeted him happily enough, but he could tell she was still cautious around him. He was trying to avoid bringing up their encounter of a few nights ago because he knew she would insist that kissing him had been a mistake or had meant nothing, while he was sure his touch still affected her and that he meant something to her.

As if she could hear his thoughts, Olivia turned to him. "Fitz, I can't be in a relationship right now. With anyone."

"I'm not asking you to be in a relationship with anyone," Fitz responded.

"So what are you asking for?" Her eyes held his and he felt that he had to look away before he fell or got lost in the deep brown pools that he remembered so well.

"To be here with me. To give us another chance," he replied.

"I need time to grieve for my husband," she said.

"I understand." Fitz did understand, he knew Olivia was a loyal and moral person and that she wouldn't return to him immediately even if she wanted to.

"If you understood, you would give me space," she retorted.

Fitz sighed. "Maybe you feel like you need space from me because you still have feelings for me," he suggested.

"I don't." Her response was said quietly and without looking at him, and Fitz knew she was lying.

"I think you do," he said. Without giving her a chance to reply, he called up to Karen, "Come on Kar, find a place already!"

Karen complied, and the group began to set up on the blanket, passing around food and drinks, and settled in to wait for the fireworks. Both Karen and Olivia were quiet, sticking to the edges of the blanket. Gerry and Emily were cuddled up in the middle. Fitz leaned backwards, closing his eyes and wishing he could cuddle with Olivia as they had done when they were younger.

After they finished eating, Fitz got up and greeted some of the people he recognized from the years he had spent at the beach. One old friend handed him a box of sparklers, which he brought back to the group. Lighting the sparklers with a borrowed lighter, Fitz watched as the kids waved theirs in the air, drawing letters and shapes in the sky. He looked at Olivia, whose face was shining behind her sparkler. "Write your name," he said.

He watched as she spelled out Livvie, and he smiled. As far as he knew, he was the only person who called her by that particular nickname. He lit his own sparkler and used it to trace a heart around her face.

Soon after that, the fireworks began. Now Olivia sat near the middle of the blanket and Fitz sat slightly behind her. His eyes moved from the colors lighting up the sky to her face and back to the sky. After a particularly lovely burst of color, Fitz looked to Olivia and realized that she was shivering in the cool breeze. He moved towards her and she backed up a bit, leaning into his chest. He pulled her in, wrapping his arm across her and holding on to her opposite shoulder. He felt her relax against him, letting out a sigh, and he lowered his chin to her shoulder, breathing in the smell of her hair. "You smell like a fruit salad," he whispered, making her laugh.

Glancing at his children, Fitz saw Gerry with his arm around Emily, kissing her gently on the forehead. He suddenly found himself wondering if Gerry and Emily were having sex. He had no illusions that Gerry was innocent or uninterested, and he knew Emily was just as attractive as her mother had been at her age, but it concerned him that his son might be moving too quickly. He would have to talk to Gerry, and soon.

Returning his attention to the sky, Fitz smiled at the spirals of blue and red enhanced by gold sparkles filling the sky. He hugged Olivia just a little bit tighter. "Fitz," she said, and he thought she was just enjoying the moment, but then she tugged on his hand. He pulled back so that she could turn towards him. "Did Karen go to the bathroom?" she asked.

Fitz felt his smile fading as he looked back to Gerry and Emily on the blanket in front of them. Had Karen been there a moment ago when he was watching them? Suddenly feeling like the worst father in the world, he leaned towards Gerry. "Where's Karen?" he asked. Gerry and Emily both shook their heads, looking around in confusion.

"Let me call her," Gerry said. But when he did, a cell phone lit up on the blanket. Gerry wordlessly handed Karen's phone to Fitz.

Fitz and Olivia both stood as the finale of the fireworks show lit up the sky. Fitz turned in a circle, looking at the families surrounding them. "How long has she been gone?" he asked Olivia. "How did she leave without me noticing?"

"I don't know," Olivia replied. "Maybe she saw some friends?" She too looked at the nearby families, scanning the faces for Karen.

"Maybe," Fitz agreed. "Or maybe she did go to the bathroom." He said this knowing that Karen would have told him if she was going somewhere. Unless he just hadn't been paying attention. He raked his fingers in his hair and looked at Olivia, whose concerned face tugged at his heart. "Stay here?" he said. "I'll go look by the bathrooms."

"Of course," she said, her hand lingering on his arm. He almost smiled. Then he remembered that he needed to find his daughter.

He walked to the bathrooms, thinking about how Karen could be anywhere. She was his baby and he hadn't even noticed her leaving. Yes, she was fifteen years old, and yes she knew her way around, but he couldn't help but let his imagination wander. Standing outside the woman's room, he watched as a young girl and her mother exited. "Is anyone else in there?" he asked them. When the mother said no, he went inside to check. It was empty.

Fitz picked his way back to the blanket, now fighting the crowds leaving the beach as the fireworks had ended. He hoped Karen would be there when he got to them, but was only greeted by Gerry, who stood on top of the cooler waving his arms in hope that Karen would see him. Olivia and Emily had gathered their things and Olivia was rubbing her daughter's arms gently.

"Okay," Fitz said. "If Karen couldn't find us then maybe she's by the police tent by the road." Gerry volunteered to go check and Fitz took his place standing on top of the cooler, calling Karen's name.

Olivia looked up at him. "We'll find her," she said confidently.

"I know," Fitz answered. "I'm not worried."

"Yes you are," she said. "She's your baby. You don't have to act tough. Maybe she went home?"

Fitz shook his head. "I don't think she'd walk alone," he said.

Gerry returned to the group, now easy to find as most others had left the area. "They haven't seen her," he reported. "They said they'll send out some guys to look for her. Do you think someone took her or something?" he asked, worriedly.

"I don't think so," Olivia said quickly, and Fitz appreciated her attempts to calm them all. He reached out and touched her arm.

"I'm going to go talk to the police," he said. "Can you go back to my house? Look for her along the way? Maybe she did decide to walk home." He took out his phone and checked for missed calls, which there were none. "Call me when you get there," he said. He had the sudden urge to kiss Olivia goodbye – at the very least on the cheek – but instead he just patted her arm awkwardly.

"It's going to be okay," she said, and he nodded as she and Gerry and Emily walked away.

XXX

Olivia, Gerry, and Emily arrived at Fitz's house without having run into Karen along the way. Gerry opened the door and entered first, calling for Karen. She wasn't there. Gerry took out his phone to call Fitz while Olivia walked around to the back of the house, thinking she might check for Karen there. Olivia felt awful about the situation. No one had spoken to Karen and no one had noticed that she had left. It seemed that Karen had run away due to being ignored. Olivia remembered what Fitz had told her the first time they had spoken this summer – Karen still needed her mother. Olivia could recall how it felt to be a lonely fifteen year old, though she had filled her loneliness with Fitz.

Finding the backyard and pool area empty, Olivia entered the house, finding Gerry and Emily sitting on stools at the kitchen counter. "Nothing?" Olivia checked with them. Gerry shook his head. Emily looked sad and Olivia wanted to tell her that Karen's disappearance was not her fault. On the other hand, maybe it was. Maybe all of them were at fault.

"Maybe she went to our house," Emily suggested. Olivia agreed this could be a possibility. Her house was closer to the beach where the fireworks had been held after all. "Should we go check?" Emily asked.

"Someone should stay here," Olivia replied. Olivia understood that Emily wanted to go with Gerry to check the house. The last thing that Olivia wanted was to be left alone with her thoughts at Fitz's house. So without giving it too much thought, she said, "I'll go. I'll come back whether or not I find her. I'll be quick."

Walking quickly, Olivia made it to the house without seeing Karen along the way, nor did she find Karen sitting on the front porch. Although the door was locked and Karen would not have had a way to enter, Olivia went inside and looked around for her. She checked the back deck and did not find her there either. With a sigh, she turned and hurried back the way she had come. At Fitz's house, she knocked, then opened the door. Returning to the kitchen, she called out, "I'm back!" in case her daughter needed to separate from Gerry before she barged in on them. The kitchen was empty.

Olivia turned in a slow circle. Had Gerry and Emily disappeared too? Or – and this possibility was even more difficult to consider – were they taking advantage of their time alone in the house in Gerry's room? Returning to the front hall, Olivia jumped as the front door flew open. Fitz, looking disheveled and upset, stormed into the house with Karen close behind him.

"Fitz, thank God," Olivia said, looking outside at the police car pulling away. "What happened?"

Karen had her arms folded across her chest and looked to be perfectly fine, although obviously angry. She glared at Olivia, who instinctively took a step back. Karen said nothing, just ran up the stairs to her room. Olivia looked at Fitz.

"The police found her walking away from the beach. She decided to look for a bus stop or find some other way to leave town and go to Mellie," he said.

"Really?" Olivia replied. "Why?" she asked, although of course, she had a pretty good idea.

"She felt left out. She saw Gerry and Emily and you and me and she decided to run away." Fitz sounded so defeated and Olivia longed to go to him and comfort him, but the mention of Gerry and Emily reminded her that a moment ago she had been looking for the missing couple.

"Oh God," she said. "Listen, I went back to my house to see if Karen was there and when I got back, Gerry and Emily weren't in the kitchen where I left them. I think they might be in Gerry's room."

Almost before Olivia finished her sentence, Fitz had turned and run up the stairs. Olivia thought about following him, but instead sank to a seat on the bottom step. From there, she heard Fitz banging on the door to what must have been Gerry's room and yelling at him to come out. Olivia put her head in her hands. This night had turned into far more than she had bargained for.

After a moment, Fitz's footsteps returned to the stairs and when he got to the bottom, he sat beside her, placing a hand on her back. "They're on their way down," he told her softly.

"So they were…"

"They were. I'm sorry, Livvie," he said.

"You're sorry?" she said with a snort. "I'm the one who left them here by themselves!"

"For what, five minutes?"

"More like twenty," she acknowledged. "Now we're going to have to keep them separated for a while, I think."

"That didn't work when our fathers tried it with us," Fitz said.

"Not at first," Olivia agreed, allowing a small smile in Fitz's direction.

"Not at first," Fitz repeated. "I suppose Gerry and Karen will both be visiting Mellie for a bit."

Olivia stood, looking down at Fitz, who remained sitting on the bottom step, as Emily appeared at the top of the stairs and started down. "We're going," Olivia said, to both of them.

"I'll call you," Fitz said.

Olivia shook her head. "I'll call you," she corrected.

XXX

_1986, Mid-July, Night_

The first time Olivia spent the night with Fitz, it was not planned.

It was the third summer that Olivia and her father had returned to the beach, and it had been quite difficult for Olivia to convince him that they should indeed spend the summer there again. He was extremely busy with his work at a job that Olivia knew very little about and he was concerned about having to leave Olivia alone at the beach house while he traveled to various locations to work. They had reached an agreement in which he had set three very strict rules for her – no parties at the house, no overnight guests without his prior knowledge, and no overnight stays for her elsewhere without his permission. The consequence for breaking any of these rules would be her quick return to their home in the city.

Thus far, Olivia had been stringent at obeying the rules. However, that day, she hadn't been feeling well, having awoken that morning with a headache which persisted throughout the day, occasionally accompanied by bouts of dizziness. Not wanting to forgo a day with Fitz, she had denied being sick, even when he occasionally questioned her on her unusual quietness. They had spent the afternoon in the pool and while the water had relaxed and soothed her, since they had finished swimming and come inside the house, she had not been able to warm up. Now, she lay cuddled on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, shivering. Fitz, who had run of the house due to his father's work in the state government requiring him to be in the capital city, had taken a shower and now walked back into the living room.

"Livvie?" he said. "What's wrong?"

She looked at him and he swam in and out of focus in her gaze. "I don't feel very well," she told him.

He sat on the couch, placing himself gingerly beside her. He placed his hand against her face. "Ooh," he said. "You're hot."

"Thanks," Olivia said, managing a smile.

"I mean, you are, but I meant you feel hot. I think you have a fever."

"Oh," she answered. "No wonder I feel like crap."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked as he stroked his hand through her hair.

"I didn't want you to think I was acting like a baby," she said with a small shrug.

"You're my baby," he answered. Olivia rolled her eyes, then closed them at the dizziness that ensued thereafter. "Let me get you some Tylenol," Fitz said, standing.

She must have dozed off in the moment it took him to return with the pills because when she opened her eyes again, Fitz had scooped her up, as if she actually was a baby or a small child, and was carrying her towards his bedroom. She automatically wrapped her arms around his neck. "What are you doing?" she asked him as they reached his room and went inside.

"You're my baby," he said again, "and I'm going to take care of you." He set her down on his bed. "First take the medicine," he instructed, and she complied. He looked her over. She had changed after swimming into her sweats and tank top. "Are you comfortable for sleeping?" he asked.

Olivia stood up quickly. Then she sat again. "Fitz, I can't sleep here!" she said. "Remember my dad's rules?"

"Of course I do, but you're sick. You can't go home."

Olivia decided not to fight it. She laid her head onto the pillow on the right side of Fitz's king sized bed. He helped her pull the blanket up to cover her. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

"No," she replied.

"I'm just going to get something to eat. I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay." Olivia watched as Fitz left his room, then she closed her eyes.

Olivia didn't know how much time had passed when she awoke to Fitz's soft lips pressed to her forehead. She opened her eyes and looked at him kneeling by the bed in front of her. "Sorry baby," he said in a soft voice. "You don't feel as warm now, are you feeling a little better?" Olivia nodded. "Okay," he said. "I'm going to go sleep in the living room."

Fitz stood, but Olivia's hand shot out from beneath the blanket and grabbed onto his. "Fitz!" she said.

"What?" He crouched back to eye level with her.

"Please," she said. "Stay with me."

For a moment, they just looked at each other. Fitz's eyes were so blue at that moment that Olivia felt she could swim in them. She wished she wasn't sick so that she could kiss him, but she certainly didn't want to risk him catching what she had – any more than he was already at risk after spending the day with her. She gently tugged his hand and he came closer, climbing onto the bed and under the covers beside her. His hand moved across her torso and she shivered – this time not from the fever but from the feeling of Fitz touching her. She sighed and folded her body into him so that they were in a spooning position. "Comfy?" Fitz whispered, his breath moving across her cheek.

"Mmm," Olivia replied, snuggling just a little bit closer and closing her eyes. He felt so good against her body that she never wanted to leave his bed again.

When Olivia woke up the following morning, at first she could not remember where she was. At the realization of the weight of his arm across her body, the memory of the night before returned to her – the headache and the dizziness, Fitz's cool hand on her forehead, Fitz carrying her to his room, Fitz holding her in his bed. She had broken her father's rules and she felt fine. In fact, she felt great. Yesterday's sick feelings seemed to be completely gone.

Olivia turned to face Fitz, who remained asleep, his mouth slightly open and his hair messy. She smiled to herself at how adorable he looked. She had seen Fitz asleep before, as they sometimes napped on the beach or by the pool, but she had never been with him first thing in the morning. Of course, their night together had been her first spent with any man, but she imagined that Fitz looked as perfect as anyone could look in the morning light.

She moved her hand gently over his thin t-shirt, not trying to wake him, but wanting to feel him. She slipped her hand under the shirt and rested it on his abs. Fitz was in very good shape from swimming and running and occasional weight lifting and his muscles were solid from his efforts. Daringly, Olivia moved her hand lower, over top of Fitz's sweatpants. Though the couple had held each other and cuddled and kissed with a lot of tongue, they had held off on further stroking of each other's bodies, wanting to wait until both were sure they were ready to take a step past the point of no return. Now, Olivia was quite sure she was ready. And if she was ready, Fitz would have to be ready too.

Finding the bulge of Fitz's manhood, Olivia began a light stroke on him, wondering what it would take to get a response. She felt his body move under her hand and he stirred, but didn't open his eyes. With a harder grasp, a groan escaped him. Olivia was amused by this and spurred on, she slid her other hand into the waistband of his sweatpants and underwear. Now she could truly feel him, his skin so smooth and hot under her fingers that she gasped. Fitz's eyes popped open and she smiled, watching for the exact moment when he realized where they were and what she was doing. She saw his desire just before he grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"Livvie," he breathed. "What are you doing?"

"What does it feel like I'm doing?" she said in a voice she hoped sounded sexy.

"I thought…aren't you sick?" he asked, looking confused.

"I feel better," she said, shrugging a shoulder and leaning closer to plant a kiss on his jaw. "I want to make you feel good," she whispered. She tried to stroke him again.

"God, Liv," he choked. "Please, you can't, I can't…"

"Why can't you, Fitz? Don't you want me?" She recalled asking him this same question a year ago, and she knew that this time she definitely sounded insecure.

"Are you kidding?" he squeezed her wrist harder. "Of course I want you."

"So?" she questioned.

"So, your first time should be perfect. You deserve that, Livvie." She was surprised by how heartfelt his words sounded. "If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right," he told her, tugging her hand out of his pants.

"But I wanted to touch you first," she protested.

"That's not how this is going to work," he replied. Her eyebrows raised. "Look," he said. "Go home, get ready for a nice dinner with me tonight, and we'll see how things go from there."

"Tonight?" she repeated. He nodded seriously. "But it's only 8 AM!"

"Oh," he said. "You're right." He smiled at her. "How about breakfast?"

XXX

The second time Olivia and Fitz spent the night together, it was planned. It was planned meticulously on both of their parts. Fitz sent Olivia home after lunch time so that he could put together what he was calling the "date night" part of their evening. Olivia was thrilled by this because while she and Fitz had been close for some time, their relationship had evolved from friendship into couplehood seamlessly and they had never actually "dated." For her part, aside from primping and beautifying herself, she also checked in with her father. She was very much emboldened by not having been caught disobeying his rules the night before, but she wanted to be sure, and she was satisfied to reach his secretary who informed her that her father was out of the country. She briefly wondered how she was supposed to inform him of her whereabouts when he was unreachable, but she hadn't truly planned to do so anyway, so she let that slide.

Fitz had requested that Olivia return to his house at 7 pm sharp, and she did, wearing a white sundress, her hair straightened, and her makeup applied in a way that she thought made her look older. She felt good about herself and she had no qualms about the choice she was making to be with Fitz. When he opened the door to her knock, the way he looked at her told her that he had no doubts either.

He pulled her inside the house and kissed her, hard. For a moment, she thought he might decide to forego the date part of the night and give in to her right then and there, but he broke the kiss, leaving her breathing so hard she was almost panting. She tried to kiss him again, but he held her back. "Let's go," he said.

"Where are we going?" she asked, as she followed him through the house to his back patio door. She had been expecting a dinner out at a restaurant, but from the looks of things, Fitz had other ideas. He collected a blanket and a back pack and led her out the door. They headed out the usual way they went when going to the beach, but then turned in the opposite direction from the pier, boardwalk, and the restaurants that Olivia was familiar with. "Where are you taking me?" she asked.

"Just come," Fitz said, his voice warm and soft at the same time. Olivia sighed and held his hand, letting him lead her. They eventually reached a path that led through the dunes and they followed it to a small clearing. The way it was surrounded by dunes and brush, it was hidden from anyone who might pass by. Fitz spread the blanket on the ground and beckoned Olivia to sit with him.

"How did you find this place?" she asked.

"A long time ago," he told her, "I used to come here to think. Mostly before I met you," he added.

She nodded. "It's nice," she said.

"You're nice," Fitz said, smirking at her and she laughed.

"You're so lame," she said.

"I am not!" he protested, but he was laughing. He opened his back pack and brought out foil wrapped cheese sandwiches and passed one to her. "I know this isn't much, but I really wanted to have a picnic and this was what I thought of making for us and – "

"Fitz," she interrupted. "It's perfect."

"Not lame?" he asked.

"Not at all."

They ate and they talked and laughed together and Olivia could feel the tension building inside of her whenever she looked at him. She wanted to climb into his lap and kiss him until he gave in to her, but she knew that he wanted to take the lead, and so she waited.

Fitz looked at her then, his eyes bright and wide. "Livvie," he said. His hand moved to her face and he stroked her cheek and she leaned into his palm. Again, she waited. "I want to tell you that you mean everything to me," he said softly. She closed her eyes. "You're my best friend and you are so beautiful and, God, I love you so much, Livvie." The last part was said in a rush and Olivia's eyes flew to his, wondering if she'd heard him correctly. He moved closer to her, placing his other hand on the other side of her face so that he was holding her head steady and looking into her eyes. She began to have a hard time breathing, her heart was racing so hard in her chest. "I love you," he said again, before closing the distance between their mouths and kissing her, softly at first, and then with increasing passion as she moaned and climbed into his lap, her legs going around his back and her arms around his shoulders so that she was hugging him with her entire body. He leaned back onto the blanket, pulling her with him, and rolled so that he was on top of her, kissing her all the while. Then he stopped and pulled away to look at her. "I want to be sure you're ready for this," he said. "It's okay if you aren't."

She reached up to him, stroking his face as he had stroked hers. "I'm ready, Fitz," she said. "I've been ready. I want you. And, God, I love you too."

A smile broke across his face at her words and he began kissing her again, exploring her mouth with his tongue, and at the same time, moving his hand down her body. She arched into him as he skimmed over her breast and then her hip and began to caress her thigh. She had longed for him to touch her in this way for so long that she thought she might shatter. And it felt so good.

Within moments he had them both naked, and the cool sea air on her skin combined with the warmth of him above her was so sensual and beautiful that she almost cried. And when he touched her, his fingers moving in her heat like love and lust and emotion, she cried out with not just her voice, but with her body, as unimaginable pleasure took her over.

And then, Fitz took a condom from his bag and sheathed himself before finally intimately connecting their bodies and it was everything. Olivia's heart was exploding from the joy of it and from the love she felt for him and her insides were shuddering with the feeling of him and he moved so carefully as if not to break her. She gripped at him, her hands moving from his hair to his strong back and down to his ass, her hips bucking into his involuntarily but not undesirably. Not at all. His breath was loud and hot in her ear and she kissed him, licked his jaw, attached her mouth to the side of his neck and sucked. His breath became a groan and it was so erotic, so perfect. Her body was responding to his just the way it should, the feeling building in her belly and spreading out, everything tensing and then releasing, throbbing and pulsing, and she felt his movements become erratic before he froze, grunted and moaned, and collapsed onto her.

She stroked his hair as he tried to catch his breath. "I love you," she whispered.

He raised his face to look at her. "Was that okay?" he asked.

"It was amazing," she told him. "Perfect."

Somehow, they dressed and gathered themselves together and returned to his house before they started again. The second time was even more amazing then the first and Olivia was absolutely in heaven as she lay beside him, both of them naked and partially covered by his sheets, legs intertwined, whispering to one another until they fell asleep.

And that was how his father found them when he walked into Fitz's room the following morning.

XXX

_Present Day, July Fifth, Day_

Olivia drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she and Emily drove south along the coast. They had left the Grant house the night before with what Olivia felt were too many emotions swirling between them. She had sent Emily to bed without sitting her down to talk about what had happened. But now, as they drove to a small beach Olivia wanted to show Emily, she felt it was time to get things into the open.

"Em," she began. "Didn't you just tell me that you and Gerry weren't having sex?"

Her daughter nodded her affirmative answer.

"But then, last night?" Olivia glanced towards Emily who was looking out the window. "Emily, you never forget your first time. Did you think it was a good idea to rush, to start something with him, when you knew I was coming back any minute?" This was the part she did not understand. "Did he force you into it?" she asked, cringing even as she spoke, knowing how awful it sounded.

"No!" Emily's reply seemed truthful enough. "It just sort of happened," she said.

"Okay," Olivia replied, wondering if her daughter would say more.

"I love him," Emily spoke in a small voice. Olivia's mind reeled at this news. The whole situation was completely bizarre. Both she and Emily had lost their virginity to a Grant – her to the father and Emily to the son. Both at age sixteen. Both she and Emily had been caught by the boy's father. The aftermath was where the story should differ, Olivia thought. She should react to her daughter in the way she wished her father (and Fitz's father) had reacted when she was in Emily's shoes.

"Emily," Olivia began, but Emily interrupted.

"I know you think I'm too young," she said. "You think I couldn't possibly know if I love him so quickly. But you aren't me."

"No," Olivia conceded, "I'm not. But I do have more experience than you."

"You don't know what it feels like to be sixteen and in love," Emily protested.

Olivia almost laughed. "Actually, I do," she said. "I was in love at sixteen too."

Emily suddenly seemed to catch on to the absurdity of the conversation. "Oh my God," she said. "You were in love with Fitz."

"I was," Olivia confirmed. "I loved him so much. I knew him for two years already when I was sixteen, but we were in love, and we had sex for the first time that summer." She couldn't believe she was having this conversation, but she truly felt that Emily needed to know.

And yet, "I don't want to know," Emily said.

"Em, it's a summer thing," she said.

"What do you mean?" Emily said accusingly.

"It's summer love. Summer at the beach. It's walks by the ocean and fireworks and sunset. But summer ends. It gets cold. It doesn't last." They pulled up by the sidewalk along the beach they were visiting. They got out of the car before either spoke again.

"What if it could last?" Emily asked Olivia. "If you and Fitz try again, maybe this time it will last."

Olivia sighed and stared out at the ocean. "What do you think?" she asked Emily. "Do you think this is a good spot to scatter Daddy's ashes?"

Emily shook her head. "I told you, he hated the beach," she answered.

"I know, but it's beautiful here," Olivia said. She took her daughter's hand and they walked along the sidewalk.

"I don't know, maybe," Emily conceded.

They spent the day together, walking along the shoreline, picking up seashells, and talking about things other than their respective relationships. As the sun set that evening, Olivia felt that the day had been good for them. Their summer at the beach was supposed to be for mother-daughter bonding after all. However, she still found her thoughts returning to Fitz. She missed him.

When they pulled up in front of their house, dusk had fully taken over from day light and at first, Olivia didn't realize that the small black car was in her driveway. "Whose car is that?" Emily asked.

It was after they both got out of the car that Olivia saw the figure on the porch. The crushing intimidation and unease from her teenage years stopped her in her tracks. She breathed out slowly. "Dad?"


	6. Summer Fling

**AN: I'm not sure why this took me so long to write. Sorry about that.**

Chapter 6: Summer Fling

_Present Day, July 5__th__, Evening_

"Dad?" Olivia asked as she stood beside her car looking at her father waiting on the front porch. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I can't visit my only daughter?" Elijah said with a chuckle. Olivia knew better though. If he was here uninvited, he must be here for a reason. She stepped up to the porch and hugged her father, then moved to the side for Emily. "Hello, honey pie!" Elijah greeted his granddaughter, kissing her on the top of her head. Olivia rolled her eyes a little at Emily, who hugged her grandfather dramatically. As much as Olivia's relationship with her father was strained, Elijah and Emily loved each other openly.

"Hi Papa!" Emily said, sounding just as she had when she was a three-year-old who couldn't manage to pronounce the word 'grandpa.' "Come inside!" She pulled Elijah into the house and Olivia followed behind them reluctantly.

In the kitchen, Olivia headed towards the stove while Elijah took a seat at the table. "I want tea," Olivia announced. "Want some tea, Dad?"

"Tea would be fine," Elijah replied.

Emily was bouncing around near the refrigerator and Olivia shot her a look. "I'm going to call Gerry!" Emily announced, and left the room.

Olivia froze in place. She then turned to face her father, who regarded her with raised eyebrows. "I thought as much," he said. "You came back here and headed straight into Fitzgerald's arms?"

"I didn't – " Olivia began.

"Gerry isn't Gerry Grant then?" Elijah questioned.

"He is," Olivia confirmed. "Emily and Gerry have become close."

"Ah, is that like mother like daughter or like father like son?" Elijah asked with a touch of amusement in his tone.

"A little of both, I think," Olivia replied. She moved to sit down at the table with her father. "Dad, why did you tell me that Fitz was over me and that he was married when he wasn't?" she asked, deciding to cut right to the chase.

"Olivia," her father said.

"Dad," Olivia replied.

He sighed. "Look, Olivia, everything I did was because I wanted what was best for you. We knew you two weren't right for each other and we did what we had to do to keep you two apart."

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "Who is 'we'?" she asked.

Elijah's lips pressed together. "Myself," he said, "and Big Gerry."

"You and Big Gerry conspired to keep Fitz and me apart?" Olivia asked. The teapot whistled and Olivia stood to retrieve it from the stove. She took her time with it, as she was having difficulty facing her father again. Finally, she turned back around. She decided to confront Elijah with the rest of her questions while he was here. "And then you introduced me to Jake," she said. "Why?"

"Olivia, please come sit down," Elijah instructed. Olivia brought the teapot and tea bags to the table. She turned back and grabbed two mugs. She placed one in front of her father and sat down. Elijah poured himself hot water, and then spoke. "Jake came through when I asked him to. I didn't want you to be alone and he was more than willing to meet you when I suggested it."

"So you didn't hold auditions? You just chose Jake?" Olivia asked sarcastically.

"I just introduced you," Elijah said. "You chose to marry him."

"A lot of good that did me," Olivia muttered. She was not only thinking of the fact that Jake had died and left her alone in the end anyway, but of the truth of their years of marriage. Quite often in the more recent years, Olivia had found that she was unhappy. And now, with Fitz back in her life, she found herself dwelling more often on the fact that she hadn't been married to Fitz then on the fact that she had been lucky to be relatively happy in her marriage at all.

"If I had known you were unhappy, I would have handled it for you," Elijah said. Olivia stared at her father as the meaning of his words sunk in. "You should probably tell Fitz to watch himself," he added, smiling as if he was joking.

"Is that a threat?" Olivia asked, but before her father could answer, Emily drifted back into the room.

"Mom," she whined, "Gerry left town to visit his mom. Now I don't know when I'll get to see him again!"

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry," Olivia said, and she was sorry because she understood how Emily felt. At the same time, she knew why Fitz had decided to arrange the visit and yet, she wished he hadn't.

Olivia left her daughter and her father in the kitchen and took her phone into the bathroom. "Fitz," she whispered when he answered.

"Liv?" he replied. "Why are you whispering?"

"Have you spoken to your father recently?" she asked, still whispering.

There was a moment of silence and just when she was wondering whether Fitz had heard her, he replied, "My father died two years ago. Did something happen? Why are you whispering?"

Olivia sank down on the side of the tub. "Oh," she said. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It's okay," he answered. "Olivia, what's the matter?"

Olivia took a breath. "I'm fine," she told him. "It's just that my father is here."

"Your father?" he repeated.

"I just thought maybe you spoke to your father and your father spoke to mine…but I guess not." She wasn't whispering anymore, but her voice was still quiet. She thought she should go back before Elijah or Emily came to look for her.

"Livvie, you're an adult," Fitz said. "If you don't want your father there, tell him to leave."

"Okay," she agreed. She wasn't sure what else to say to him, but she wasn't quite ready to end the call.

After a moment though, Fitz murmured, "You okay?"

"Yeah," she said. "Thanks Fitz."

"Bye, Livvie," he said.

* * *

_1986, Mid-July, Morning_

Fitz stormed into his father's office and closed the door behind him, hoping to reduce the risk of Olivia overhearing the argument he was about to have with his father. After Gerry had entered the bedroom, Fitz had placed himself in front of Olivia so that his father did not see more of her than he had already. Gerry had given Fitz five minutes to get dressed and meet him in his office and now Fitz was prepared for the worst. His father surprised him though, by speaking calmly.

"I'm proud of you, Son," he said, not looking at Fitz as he sifted through some papers on his desk.

"Proud of me?" Fitz repeated, confused.

"Sure." Gerry looked up at Fitz then. "You remind me of myself at your age. Sleeping till all hours of the morning, living off your father's money, some bitch in your bed to keep you company. I didn't see any empty bottles or leftover joints lying around though." Gerry looked like he was contemplating whether this fact made him less proud of Fitz after all. Then he shrugged and waited for Fitz to respond.

"She is not 'some bitch.'" Fitz growled.

"Oh?" his father questioned. "She's not someone you picked up off the beach yesterday? Is she someone you've known longer than that then? Maybe had over a few other times?"

Fitz raked a hand through his hair. The fact was that Olivia had been around often over the past three summers and had even met Gerry before, but either Gerry had paid her no attention or he hadn't seen her clearly just now. Fitz didn't want him to realize who she was, but he couldn't stop himself from saying more. "Actually, I love her."

Gerry let out a loud laugh. "You love her?" he crowed. "Have you seen her? She's not the kind of girl for you, not for your future. Did you think of anything but your sex drive before you let her into your life? Did you think about me?"

"No, Dad, actually I didn't think about you. You don't have a say in who I choose to love," Fitz retorted.

Gerry's eyes flashed with anger. "You won't say that when I cut you off, Fitzgerald," he snarled.

Fitz looked at the floor. His father was correct that Fitz would not have the money to survive without his help. He was about to enter his junior year of college and many of his classmates had summer jobs, but he had always been content to relax when he was on school break. He wasn't lazy though – he could certainly get a job. For now though, he merely said, "You're right, Dad. I'm sorry."

Gerry nodded and waved his hand, dismissing Fitz. Fitz turned and hurried back to his room. He really wanted to go for a run and he hoped Olivia would want to as well. But when he entered his room, he knew right away that Olivia was gone. "Shit," he muttered to himself. He wondered briefly if she had decided to go for a run and then realized that it was more likely that she had literally ran. From him.

Determined to find her, he raced out of the house. He scanned the beach but didn't see her and he wondered if he should follow their normal route towards her house or take the quicker street path. Suddenly, he realized that he knew where she would be and he set off at a jog towards the place among the sand dunes where he had taken her the night before.

Sure enough, when he got there, he found Olivia sitting in the sand, her knees pulled up to her chin and her arms around them. She looked so tiny sitting there. Fitz felt a wave of emotion wash over him and he took the last steps to reach her as quickly as possible. He sat beside her and pulled her against his body. "I'm sorry, baby," he murmured in her ear.

"Was he upset?" she said into his chest.

Fitz shrugged, moving Olivia's body with him as he did so. "He was mad, but it's okay."

Olivia pulled back from Fitz to look him in the eye. "Fitz, if we got caught by my dad in my bed he'd probably shoot you!"

"Well, good thing that didn't happen then," Fitz replied, smiling.

"But does your dad want to shoot me?" she asked, sounding totally serious. Fitz felt like laughing. Instead, he kissed her. When he tried to deepen the kiss, she stopped him. "Maybe getting caught was a sign we should stop," she said.

"Stop?" Fitz repeated, as if he'd never heard the word before. "Livvie, do you want to stop?"

She shook her head. "No," she whispered.

"Did you…" He paused. "Did you enjoy it?"

Olivia nestled her face into Fitz's neck and he lowered his nose to her hair, breathing her in, waiting for her answer. He felt her lips on him and she answered, "I did."

"So we're not gonna stop then," he told her.

"You enjoyed it too?" she asked, and he placed his hand under her chin to raise her head so her eyes could meet his.

"I more than enjoyed it, Livvie," he said sincerely, and her face broke into a wide smile. He leaned in and kissed her sweetly, his lips sliding against hers, her fingers landing gently on his face as he pulled back and returned her smile.

* * *

_Present Day, Mid-July, Day_

The week that Gerry was away visiting his mother was a very long week for Emily. Emily and Olivia sat on the beach every day, Emily read the books she was assigned for summer reading, and Olivia even got her to jog with her one morning, but Emily missed Gerry. They spoke on the phone every night for the first four days he was gone. On the fifth day, he didn't call. Emily tried to be patient and give him space, but by ten o'clock she was tired and wanted to go to sleep. She called him, but he didn't pick up.

On the sixth day, Gerry called Emily back. He told her that he was fine, but he was busy spending time with Karen and his mom. He told her he would see her when he got back. On the morning that Gerry and Karen were due to return to the beach, Emily couldn't help but feel nervous. She didn't know what time they were coming back or whether they had plans to see each other. She wasn't even sure if Gerry still wanted to be with her.

In the morning, Olivia made Emily eggs for breakfast. "Is Gerry coming back today?" she asked, and Emily nodded.

After that, Emily lay on her bed. She paced her room. She checked her phone. Nothing.

At noon, Olivia asked her if she wanted to take lunch to the beach. Emily chose to stay home, in case Gerry appeared at her house. He didn't. She stood by the door and looked outside as if he might walk down the sidewalk. She went out onto the back porch and looked at the ocean. She didn't spot him there either. At three o'clock, Emily walked onto the beach towards the Grant house. There was no one in their pool and there was no sign of anyone inside the house either. Maybe they weren't back yet.

At six, Olivia appeared in Emily's doorway. "Do you want to go out for dinner?" she asked.

Emily shook her head. "I don't feel very well," she replied.

Olivia stood looking at her for a moment, and then she walked away.

About an hour later, Olivia came back. "I brought you a sandwich," she said, sitting beside Emily on her bed. "And also, there's someone here to see you."

Emily looked up, hope blossoming in her chest. But when Olivia moved back out of her room and gestured for the visitor to enter, Emily saw that it wasn't Gerry at all, it was Karen.

"Karen?" Emily said, trying not to sound upset. "Where's Gerry?" she asked.

"He's at home talking to my dad," Karen answered. "But I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay," Emily said, trying to smile at the younger girl. The truth was that she wasn't sure she wanted to know what Karen wanted to talk to her about.

"So listen," Karen began, sitting next to Emily. "Gerry and I had a lot of time to talk to our mom while we were with her, and she was pretty interested in hearing about you and your mom." She paused, looking to Emily for a reaction. Emily just looked back. "It turns out our parents were married."

Emily squinted at Karen. "Who was married?" she asked. "My parents and your parents?"

"No, my dad and your mom."

"That's…that's not possible," Emily said slowly.

"It is," Karen said. "They got married in 1988 when your mom was 18. Then she left him and broke his heart." Karen's eyes flashed with something like pride at sharing this news. "My mom decided Gerry and me should know about it. But you didn't know, did you?" she asked.

Emily shook her head. "I don't think I understand," she said. "Why was it a big secret?"

"I don't know," Karen answered. "But my mom said your dad never knew about it."

Emily's eyes flitted around the room, settling on the urn of her father's ashes. Her father, dead. Her mother, a previous marriage. And he never knew about it. "How long were they married?" she asked Karen.

"Two weeks."

"Two weeks," Emily repeated.

Karen stood up suddenly. "Hey, do you want to go down to the beach? I heard there's going to be a bonfire tonight."

"I think I want to talk to my mom," Emily replied.

"Why, so she can lie to you more?" Karen asked.

Emily narrowed her eyes. "She didn't lie to me, she just didn't tell me," she said.

"You're not upset?" Karen asked.

Emily shrugged. "Are you?"

"Yeah, I feel betrayed. Like our parents kept this from us for our whole lives!"

"Is Gerry upset?"

"I think so," Karen said. "Come on, we can go ask him ourselves."

Emily looked down at her clothes. She had on a black t-shirt and jeans. She went to her closet and pulled out a raggedy sweatshirt that had belonged to her father. She put it on, not caring that it dwarfed her body and probably made her look like she had just rolled out of bed. She walked out of the room without a word to Karen, assuming the other girl would follow.

When she reached the kitchen, she didn't bother speaking to her mother, and just opened the door to the porch. "Em?" Olivia said, but Emily didn't turn around.

Karen spoke to Emily's mother instead. "We're just going to a bonfire I heard about," she said. Apparently permission was granted, because Karen was quick to follow Emily down the steps to the beach. As they walked, Karen texted Gerry and eventually, they spotted him walking towards them.

Forgetting for a moment her conflicted feelings on the revelations regarding her mother's past, Emily hurried forwards to Gerry, catching him in a tight hug. He held her for a moment, nuzzling his face against her hair, and she breathed for what felt like the first time in days.

"What did he say?" Karen asked, and Gerry stepped back from Emily to look at his sister.

"I didn't tell him we knew," he said. "I tried to get him to come out with it himself, but he didn't."

"Is it possible your mom made the whole thing up?" Emily asked, a glimmer of hope that her mother hadn't lied to her and her father starting to ignite.

"No way," Karen said.

"The thing is, Mom said they got married right here in town, so we can go find out ourselves if it's true. Marriages are public record," Gerry told them.

"Good idea," Karen said. "Let's go find out tomorrow."

"And what will we do if it's true?" Emily asked, thinking that maybe she didn't even want to know if her mother had been previously married or not.

"Never trust either of them again?" Karen replied, and Gerry nodded.

"Sounds about right. But maybe we can get back at them for lying to us," he added, glancing at Emily.

"We can discuss that after we find out the truth," Emily said.

They reached the place where the bonfire lit up the sky and kids milled around drinking beers and laughing. Emily regarded the crowd with disinterest, not really in the mood to be at a party. When Karen waved to some girls she knew and departed from Gerry and Emily, he tugged her hand until she followed him behind a sand dune. There, he kissed her. "I missed you," he murmured.

She smiled at him, because she had missed him too. But now, her heart was full of questions. Instead of thinking though, she allowed herself to enjoy being back with Gerry and she relaxed into his arms.


	7. Summer Dreams

Chapter 7: Summer Dreams

_Present Day, Mid-July, Day_

Gerry lay sprawled out on Emily's bed as she paced back and forth in the small space between the bed and the wall of her room. He was angry, but she wasn't sure what to think. Everything had turned out to be true about her mother and his father and she was still reeling. That morning, Emily and Gerry had each left their respective homes before anyone else was awake. They ate breakfast together at a small coffee ship and waited there until the town offices opened. Then they had gone to the clerk's office.

A girl who looked just a few years older than the pair was working at the desk in the office. Emily was nervous – practically shaking – but she managed to hold herself together long enough to tell the girl why they were there. "We want to find out if our parents – I mean, I want to find out if my mother was married here. Is this where you keep marriage licenses?" she asked.

"Yes," the girl answered. "What year should I check?"

"1988," Emily answered.

The girl typed into her computer. "Okay, what's the name?"

"Pope," Emily said. "Um, Grant." She looked at Gerry.

"Look under Pope," he suggested.

"What month?" the girl asked.

Emily shook her head, again looking to Gerry. He shrugged. "July? August?" he said.

The girl typed some more and then squinted at the computer. She shook her head a few times as she continued to look. Emily began to seriously hope that this had all been a mistake. She even started to imagine how she would be able to tell Karen that her mother had made it all up to break up Olivia and Fitz again. But then the girl said, "Found it!" Emily jumped and Gerry placed a steadying hand on the small of her back. She stepped away from him. The printer began to whir and the girl stood to reach for the papers it spit out. "You don't need a certified copy, right?" she asked Emily.

Emily just shook her head and the girl stapled together the print outs and handed them over.

The top paper was the marriage license. Emily flipped to the second page where she found an almost identical record, but with the word "Divorced" typed on it. She flipped back to the first page. _Olivia Carolyn Pope_, she read. _Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III_. Married on July 26, 1988. Their anniversary was coming up, Emily thought. She handed the papers to Gerry. He looked them over, then handed them back and quickly left the office. Emily glanced at the girl, thanked her, and hurried after Gerry.

She caught up with him in the hallway and his face was angry. He looked at her. "I feel like everything my father has ever said to me has been a lie," he said.

"It hasn't been," she replied.

Gerry glared towards her. "It's a betrayal!" he said. "To keep that part of his past a secret…"

"A secret that has nothing to do with you," Emily pointed out. "Maybe he never told you because it didn't mean that much to him," she said.

Gerry scoffed. "I see how he looks at her," he said. "He still loves her, after all this time. It definitely meant something to him."

"Well, maybe it was too hurtful to talk about," Emily suggested, realizing she was trying to justify her mother's choice to keep this secret as much as she was trying to explain Gerry's father's choice to him. Even as she defended her mother's decision though, her thoughts kept returning to the fact that her father had never known.

Now, as Emily paced, she thought about just how she would bring up her new found knowledge with her mother. She paused in front of her dresser where she had placed the paperwork from the town clerk. "What's that?" Gerry interrupted her thoughts. She looked towards him and saw his gaze had focused on the urn of her father's ashes, still placed on the top of her dresser.

"It's my father's ashes," she answered.

Gerry stood from the bed and approached the urn. Emily faced him, placing herself between him and the urn, not liking the look on his face. "If I was you," he said, his voice low and almost scary, "I would show your mother what betrayal feels like. I would take your father's ashes and scatter them without her."

Emily shook her head, hard. "No way," she said. "I could never do that to her."

"Why haven't you scattered the ashes yet?" Gerry asked.

"We haven't decided where to do it yet," she answered with a shrug.

"Or maybe your mom is too busy thinking about my dad to remember yours," Gerry said. "Look," he continued, his voice softening. "If she could lie to you about this, doesn't it mean she could lie to you about anything at all?"

"It could," Emily said. "But to be honest, I still want to talk to my mom about it. I don't know what your relationship with your mom is like, but my mom and I are close. She's all I have." Her voice cracked a little and she tried to hold back tears. "Maybe she does still love your dad and maybe she shouldn't have married my dad in the first place, but I would never – I could never take what's left of my dad away from her."

"You're what's left of your dad, not some pile of ashes," Gerry said, and Emily knew he was just saying it because he was hurt and angry, but she couldn't help but feel his comment as if it cut through her heart. Her dad was still a part of her – his ashes were just symbolic.

"I think you should go," Emily told him. He looked at her sadly and she tried to reassure him. "I just need some time, okay?" She watched him leave, then collapsed back onto her bed.

* * *

"I think something's going on with Emily," Olivia said to Fitz as they jogged along the beach.

She and Fitz had returned to something of a routine, jogging together each morning. They were back to avoiding discussion of their past and conversation was heavily focused on the mundane – the weather, their surroundings, and sometimes their kids. Olivia felt comfortable with him and she valued his friendship, but there were still moments when he looked at her with that intense way he had, his eyes drinking her in, when she felt the heat of his gaze everywhere in her body and she found herself wanting more. And yet she still fought the feelings away.

"In what way?" he asked, looking at her then, concern showing on his face.

"I don't know, she hasn't said much to me and she usually does. She left early this morning without telling me where she was going."

"Gerry left early this morning too," Fitz commented. "They probably went somewhere together."

"Probably," Olivia said, but she still felt the niggling of concern. Maybe she should have realized that her secret was no longer a secret, but her mind was focusing elsewhere. She imagined Emily getting drunk, having sex, being a teenager. She had left the house in her father's sweatshirt the night before – maybe she was feeling the need to hold on to his memory in a physical way. She never considered that Emily's strange behavior was related to her own past.

So, when Olivia arrived at home, she was surprised to find Emily sitting at the kitchen table. The urn that held her father's ashes was in front of her. She had papers in front of her, and Olivia thought maybe she needed forms signed – something for school, or permission to get a job. Olivia watched Emily's face as she impassively picked up the papers and handed them to her mother. Emily's eyes never left the urn, and Olivia's remained on Emily, as she took the papers. When Emily did not say a word, Olivia finally glanced at the papers she now held.

For a split second, Olivia thought the words at the top of the paper referred to Emily. Before she was able to panic that her little girl had somehow gone out and gotten married, she realized what she was looking at. Her own marriage license. Suddenly, the kitchen was hot and stuffy and Olivia could not breathe. She turned, prying open the door to the porch, and rushed outside, taking deep breaths of the fresh ocean air, trying not to faint.

_Marry me. Tomorrow. Next week then. I don't want to be apart from you anymore._

Her first instinct was to call Fitz. To warn him, maybe, because he obviously did not know that his kids had found out about their past. Or just to speak to him, to ask him for his support, to find out how she should approach this with Emily. She had always considered her very brief marriage to Fitz to be a secret too private to share. Even when her husband and Fitz had met each other, she had not wanted to let Jake into this small but important part of her history. But now her history was her present. And it was sitting at her kitchen table.

She turned back to Emily, who remained seated, still staring at the urn. She took another deep breath and then went back inside to sit beside Emily at the table. Everything was quiet for a moment. She reached for her daughter's hand, and Emily finally looked at her. There was such a mix of emotions on her face – sadness, anger, loss – that Olivia found herself remembering Emily as a toddler who could not express herself other than by kicking and screaming on the floor. Now, she willed Emily to tell her how she was feeling, to use her words like a big girl.

"I'm angry," Emily finally said, and Olivia almost thanked her for expressing her emotions. Instead, she tried to remain calm and have an adult conversation with her daughter.

"What are you angry about?" she asked.

"You were married," Emily said, the word married sounding almost like an insult. "And you never told me."

"That's right," Olivia acknowledged. "I was married, and I never told you."

"You never told Daddy," Emily said.

"No, I didn't," Olivia replied.

"You lied to us," Emily said, her voice cracking.

"I didn't lie," Olivia said. "I just didn't tell you."

"It's still a lie."

"It was a long time ago," Olivia said. "Before I knew your father. Before you were born. It has nothing to do with you."

"But it does!" Emily insisted. "You're my mother, and I thought I knew you."

Olivia felt herself becoming less than calm now. "You do know me!" she said. "You do."

"It doesn't feel like it," Emily mumbled.

"What would help you feel better about this?" Olivia asked.

"I want to know what happened. Tell me what happened," Emily said, her eyes locking on Olivia's pleadingly.

"Oh," Olivia said. "It's not something I really talk about. It's my past, it's private," she tried to explain.

"Gerry and Karen know the story," Emily said. "I want to know it too. I would have asked Gerry to tell it to me, but I wanted you to tell me."

Now Olivia realized her private past with Fitz was no longer a secret – obviously Fitz had told Mellie their story, but now Mellie had shared her version of a story (that was not hers to tell) with her children, who could easily share that version of the story with Emily. If she didn't want Emily to get the inaccurate story of her past, she would have to give her the full, difficult, painful truth.

* * *

_1988, Mid-July, Day_

The summer that Olivia was eighteen was likely the best summer of her life. Being that she was now eighteen, her father's restrictions on her had greatly lessened. He was also happy with the fact that she had a job – the same job that she had started the summer prior. Fitz had begun work at the Community Pool and Gym soon after his father had threatened him about his relationship with Olivia. At first, Olivia had spent a lot of time there swimming and working out while Fitz worked. Then, she got a job there as well. It proved to be a great cover for them to spend time together because neither of their fathers would set foot in the place, preferring to frequent the local country club and certainly not the community center.

Fitz started out as a lifeguard and soon began instructing fitness classes as well. Olivia loved to watch him working out as she found him extremely sexy when he was literally demonstrating his body's strength. She took great comfort in the fact that even though plenty of girls were admiring him, it was she that he returned to each time. The pool cabanas were convenient for making out during the day, but when work was over, their real time together began. The summer she was eighteen, Fitz made the surprising decision to rent a small house similar to the one Olivia and her father had been staying in each summer, rather than continue to live in his father's home. More often than not, Olivia stayed there with him.

Each day after work was spent swimming, walking on the beach, picnicking, going to parties, and making love until they collapsed with exhaustion. Olivia was happy. She believed Fitz was happy too, but as the summer passed, he began discussing the future. He had graduated from college, but she was only about to start. She was set to move to D.C. at the end of August to attend Georgetown. Fitz was planning to work in New York City. The two cities weren't awfully far apart, but Fitz began hinting around the fact that he wanted Olivia to stay with him. He began to talk about marriage.

Olivia believed she would marry Fitz one day, but she imagined it would be after college. So when Fitz proposed, she was only slightly surprised. They were curled up together on a patio chair that Fitz had taken from his father's house. They quite often sat together on the patio where they could hear the ocean. Wrapped up in Olivia's mother's old blanket, Fitz was wearing a plain white t-shirt and thin pajama pants, while Olivia was wearing a pink camisole and black, satin, underwear. She was sitting on his lap, her head pressed against his heart, and she was practically asleep when he spoke. His voice was so low, she almost didn't hear him. "Marry me," he said.

She lifted her head and attached her lips to the pulse point on his neck. He removed one of his hands from where it rested on her thigh and cradled her face between his thumb and forefinger, lifting her chin so that their eyes were level. "Livvie," he said. "I'm serious. Let's get married."

"Okay," she said with a giggle.

"Tomorrow?" Fitz said.

"What?" Now Olivia was surprised.

"I never want us to be apart again," Fitz told her, and she felt her heart jump at the possibility.

"I don't have a dress," she said.

"Next week then," he said. And he kissed her.

Over the next week, Olivia let herself get caught up in Fitz's enthusiasm. They would get married and be together and everything would be perfect. However, every time she imagined telling her father the news, a feeling of dread settled over her. So she didn't tell him.

She bought a dress, a white sundress with eyelets that could be worn to a party on the beach, but to her it was special because she knew she would wear it to marry Fitz. They also bought wedding bands – plain gold and inexpensive, but symbolizing their love.

And yet, on the morning they were to be married, Olivia found herself saddened that she would not have the wedding she had dreamt of. There would be no bridesmaids beside her, no aisle to walk down, no big party to celebrate. But she still told herself it would be okay – she was marrying Fitz after all.

For his part, Fitz was glowing with happiness in his linen suit. When Olivia stood before him in her dress, his eyes actually filled with tears. "You look beautiful," he said. His kissed her carefully, as if he was afraid she would disappear. Then he handed her a bouquet of white lilies.

The actual wedding was quick and uneventful. They were married by a judge who seemed bored to be there. Their witnesses were borrowed interns from the clerk's office. When it was over, Fitz swung her around in his arms and Olivia laughed. They walked to a small but fancy café on the beach and had lunch and Olivia mostly listened as Fitz spoke of their future together. He wanted children with her, he told her, and she nearly laughed as she thought of the fact that she was practically a child herself.

In fact, she was too young to even drink legally. So they didn't drink with lunch, but afterwards, back at the house (their house?) Fitz opened a bottle of champagne and Olivia drank most of it herself. She turned the radio to an oldies station and danced – if she wasn't having a wedding party, at least she wasn't skipping the dancing! Fitz sat on the couch and watched until she finally convinced him to join her. He gripped her waist as she shimmied her hips and laughed, throwing her head back. His hand met the back of her neck and he leaned over her, kissing her hard. "I love you, Mrs. Grant," he said. She wrapped her arms around his neck and jumped up, her legs meeting behind his back. He stumbled a bit, but caught her by her thighs, and her dress rose up as he adjusted his hands and his fingers came to rest along the edge of her panties. He wasted no time carrying her to the bedroom, kissing her the entire way there.

As he set her down and began kissing from her ankle to her knee, Olivia let her mind stray from the worries nagging in her head and allowed herself to focus on Fitz, the pleasure he gave her, and the love she felt for him in her heart.

In the morning though, the dread was back. Marrying Fitz without telling her father was reckless, rebellious, and downright stupid, because now her father was going to disown her, or worse. Fitz was scheduled to work and Olivia was not on until later in the day, so she headed to the house her father had rented that summer. She did not know if her father was there, and she thought maybe he should end their lease early, since he was rarely around and she would be staying with Fitz from now on. Her plan was not to confide in her father right away, but to pack up her things and get out before having to face him.

Her plan was derailed when she arrived though, as her father was not only home, but appeared to be waiting for her. "Where have you been, Olivia?" he asked, practically before she crossed the threshold.

For a moment she thought to lie, to name some of her friends from work and say she had been with them, but then she decided to get it over with. She lifted her left hand to display her wedding band.

"Olivia? What are you trying to tell me?" her father asked, his tone low and almost nervous.

"Fitz and I got married," she said. She tried to say it with confidence, but she couldn't look her father in the eye.

"You did what?" he asked, still not raising his voice, which scared Olivia more so than if he had yelled.

"We're married," she said again, crossing her arms across her chest defensively.

"What about college? Your future?"

"I'm still going to college," Olivia said.

"With whose money? And I thought Fitz got a job in New York," her father said.

"We'll figure it out," Olivia said with a shrug, but of course, she was wondering what Fitz's plan was herself, because she still wanted to go to Georgetown. She packed her things and left, barely saying goodbye to her father, and returned to Fitz's house.

The summer went on as it had before – Fitz and Olivia went to work, and after work they spent time together. Olivia found herself looking for her father whenever she left the house. She half expected him to come to drag her back home, but he never came. This somehow made her feel worse and she wondered if she would ever see him again.

During the two weeks that she and Fitz were married, Fitz was happier than she had ever seen him. And this made her wonder why she wasn't as happy as he was. In fact, all she did was worry about her father, about her future, about her plans to go to Georgetown. She finally raised the subject with Fitz. He looked at her, a little surprised. "I don't want to live apart from you anymore," he reminded her.

"You could come to D.C. with me," she said.

"But I have a job in New York," he told her. "You could transfer to Columbia."

She didn't want to seem like a whiny baby, so she didn't answer. She didn't want to go to Columbia.

Fitz reached for her hand. "Olivia," he said, "we're married now. We have to do what's best for both of us." He pulled her to her feet slowly. "Let's go swimming Mrs. Grant," he said.

He was only trying to cheer her up, but she started to cry. "Don't call me that," she sniffed.

"What?"

"Don't call me Mrs. Grant," she said. "You don't own me."

She turned away from him when he tried to comfort her.

The next morning, after Fitz had left for work, Olivia once again packed her things. She left her wedding ring behind. She found her father at home, again as if he had been waiting for her. He took one look at her and said, "You made the right choice."

Olivia began to cry and her father led her back to the bedroom she had left behind two weeks prior.

"I'll take care of everything," he told her.

Fitz arrived after his shift at work, pounding on the front door and yelling for her. She sat up in bed. She heard him telling her father that he loved her and that he needed to talk to her and she heard her father telling him that he had contacted his lawyer and that everything would be taken care of. She listened as she heard Fitz's voice raise in desperation. She got up and looked out of her window. Her father and Fitz were standing on the driveway. Fitz looked more upset than she had ever seen him, more horrified, more anguished. She began to cry again, collapsing onto her bed. She put her pillows over her head so she couldn't hear him anymore.

* * *

_Present Day, Mid-July, Day_

"And then what?" Emily asked.

Olivia sighed. "That's it," she said. "That's all that happened. Papa took care of the divorce like he said he would, and we left the beach a few days later."

"What about Fitz though?" Emily asked. Olivia just shook her head. "Did you ever see him again? I mean before this summer?"

"Yes, but not for a while. By then we were both married to other people."

_Don't you miss me, Livvie? Even a little?_

"You broke his heart," Emily stated. She looked like she might cry.

Olivia nodded. "I did. And it was a horrible thing, what I did to him was horrible. And that's why I decided never to think about it or talk about it again. Not even with your father. So I'm sorry that you're angry and that you feel like I lied to you but not talking about it was my decision. It was something that happened in my past – mine. Do you understand?"

Emily nodded and Olivia stood up from the table. She was still sweaty from her run and she wanted a shower. She felt strangely relieved having told Emily her story, and yet remembering it had brought the memory of what she had done to Fitz right to the forefront. The reason she had wanted to forget everything was because of the way Fitz had looked as his heart was broken. She had done that to him. As she stood in the shower, she realized that there was still one other person with whom she would have to discuss this, and that person was Fitz.


	8. Summer Breeze

**AN: A few notes - to the person who read the book I based this on - I'm sorry! For one thing, it's not that great of a book. For another, now you know where I'm copying and where I'm making up my own things. I'm not sure which is better! Warning for this chapter - Jake is in it. Also, there is sex. No, the sex is not with Jake. Finally, I apologize for the length of time it takes for me to write a new chapter. I tend to doubt my writing and I will write a sentence and then close the program. Today I spent most of the day trying to name this chapter (I had to differ from the way I named the previous chapters). Also, I don't get paid for this. :)**

Chapter 8: Summer Breeze

_Present Day, Late July, Morning_

Even though Olivia had realized that she needed to talk to Fitz immediately after she talked to Emily, she still put it off. Instead of going to him right away, she avoided him, even canceling their morning jogs by claiming to not feel well. Actually, that was the truth. Every time Olivia imagined talking to Fitz, her stomach clenched with anxiety.

She decided not to delay any longer when she woke one morning with a start. She could not recall what had woken her, but she was surprised to find tears on her face. It had been a few weeks since she had cried herself to sleep at night, and she thought she had Fitz to thank for her gradual recovery. Which is why, while the tears surprised her, the fact that her thoughts immediately went to Fitz instead of to Jake did not surprise her. In that moment that she realized that she needed to talk to him. And soon.

She wiped her face and got out of bed, quickly dressing in her favorite jeans, a light blue loose fitting satin tank, and a light weight white hoodie, because it was early and she knew the breeze would be cool. She applied only a trace amount of makeup and hurried out the door.

The walk to the Grant house was quiet, the breeze seeming to guide Olivia on her way. She wanted to rehearse what she would say to him, but her mind was stubbornly blank. Sooner than she might have liked, she was standing on the front porch, her hand raised to knock. Just then, the door flew open, revealing Karen, her long hair pulled back in a ponytail, her cut off shorts shorter than Olivia would let Emily wear, and her halter top hugging her teenage curves gently. Olivia opened her mouth, thinking that she would mention the cool weather outside and suggest a jacket, but instead she said, "Hi Karen. Is your father around?"

The girl shrugged, looking as if she might not reply for a moment, but then she gestured towards the stairs. "He's out on the deck off the bedroom," she said, then moved past Olivia out the door. Olivia looked after her for a moment, sighed, and headed up the stairway.

The deck was off of the master bedroom, the one that had belonged to Fitz's father when they were younger. Olivia felt awkward entering the room, although she could see Fitz through the glass door leading to the balcony. She approached the door slowly, watching him. He had a newspaper on his lap and a mug in his hand and he was dressed in one of his tight fitting t-shirts that allowed her to admire the muscles in his back when he lifted his drink to his mouth. His lower half was covered with a blanket. She squinted, realizing quickly that he was using the blanket that she had left behind the day she left him – the blanket that had been her mother's and that they had been wrapped in when Fitz had proposed. She had to pause to blink back tears.

Stepping forward, Olivia opened the door to the deck. Fitz apparently didn't hear her at first, so she spoke his name softly, causing him to jump and slosh a bit of his coffee onto the blanket. He turned to face her and she was struck by the beauty of his face. He had barely changed at all since he was in his early twenties, and now in his late forties, he was the epitome of handsome.

Folding up his newspaper and setting it aside, Fitz gestured towards the chair that was beside the one he sat on. "What's up?" he asked her. "Are you feeling better? What are you doing here?"

Olivia almost laughed at his series of questions. She lowered herself into the seat beside him. "That's my blanket," she said, pointing at it.

He looked at it, and then back at her. "I kept it for you," he said, and Olivia shivered. It was his words, not the breeze, but he offered her the blanket, lifting part of it off of his lap and pulling it towards her. She reached for it slowly, her eyes on his. Instead of using the blanket to cover her own lap, Olivia brought it to her face. She held it against her cheek for a moment, cherishing its softness. Then she inhaled. The blanket used to smell like her childhood; now it smelled like Fitz. She let it settle over her lap, placing her hands on the top.

"About why I'm here…" Olivia looked out at the ocean, then back to Fitz. "We need to talk."

Fitz nodded. Of course he knew what she was referring to. "I didn't tell them," he said, not looking at her. "Mellie told them."

"I know," Olivia said. "She must have enjoyed that."

"She's been dying to tell them the story, especially recently," he said. "When Gerry mentioned he was dating Emily, well, she was all over that opportunity."

"It's not her business!" Olivia's voice sounded too high pitched to her own ears. She tried to breathe deeply to control her emotions before she spoke again. "It's nobody's business but ours."

"Ours," Fitz repeated softly. He looked at her. "We were married, Olivia," he said. She nodded at him, holding his gaze. "It's a part of your past that you need to face."

"That's my point," she said. "It's my past for me to face when I want to face it. It shouldn't have been up to Mellie to share with your kids who shared it with Emily. I was forced to tell her everything before I was ready. I told her everything," she said.

Fitz looked away from her again. He stared at the ocean. Then he spoke, "How did you explain the part where you left me?" he asked softly. Olivia's eyes closed at the sound of pain in his voice.

How to respond to that? Olivia wondered if she should say that she had told her daughter how she had broken Fitz's heart. How she had seen the look on his face and still turned away. How she had ruined all that was good for both of them for her own selfish reasons. "I told her how I left," she finally said.

Fitz turned to her then, his hand reaching for her face. He stroked her cheek, then cupped his palm and held it to her face. "I loved you," he said. "And you left me."

"Yes," Olivia whispered, her voice stuck in her throat with a mouthful of tears. Fitz took his hand away from her face. He gathered the blanket off of himself and moved it towards her. He stood, and Olivia saw that he was wearing gray sweatpants. She hugged her blanket to her chest to quell the urge to touch him. She watched him as he stepped to the rail of the deck and leaned his muscular arms on it, looking out at the ocean.

"I can't seem to stop thinking about it," Fitz said to the ocean, his voice soft but loud enough for Olivia to hear. "About you," he added, turning his head slightly to look at her. "I think about you all the time," he said.

"Fitz," Olivia said, wanting him to stop talking. Not wanting to hear his pained voice.

Fitz looked back out to the ocean and continued to speak. "I'm thinking about you and I'm asking myself what I expect from you," he said. "You did just lose your husband after all. And you know what I decided?"

"What?" she asked him softly.

He glanced towards her and then said, "I want you to tell me why you left."

"Fitz," she said again. She began to stand up. She felt the need to run from him again, to refuse to answer and to face the past, but then she remembered that this was the exact reason she had come to see him. Because she wanted to talk to him about this, to get it out in the open, to apologize for what she had done to him. She sank back into the chair, putting her elbows on her lap and her head in her hands. In an instant, Fitz was beside her, his hand on her back, as if she was the one who needed to be comforted. She peeked at him from between her fingers. The look on his face was filled with the deep caring he had always shown her, the love that after all of this time, he still felt for her.

"Livvie?" he whispered. She dropped her hands and looked at him.

"I left for a lot of reasons," she began. "I wanted to go to college."

"You could have –" Fitz started, but Olivia held up a hand.

"I know I could have gone to college in New York, or you could have taken a different job in D.C. But I didn't stick around to work that out with you." She took a breath before continuing. "I also couldn't stand to disappoint my father."

Fitz nodded. "You were scared," he said.

"I was scared. I wasn't brave enough to follow my heart. I was afraid to choose you over my father and I thought that leaving you would be the best thing for both of us."

"It wasn't the best thing for me," Fitz said.

Olivia stared at him. He looked as if he might cry. "I'm sorry," she told him. "I am so sorry. What I did to you was wrong. I shouldn't have left without talking to you first, but I was too scared to look at you while I broke your heart." Olivia's eyes filled with tears at her own words. The image of Fitz talking to her father in the driveway had haunted her, and it would have been much worse if she had been up close, if she had been watching his eyes as his heart broke.

Fitz's hand moved from Olivia's back to the back of her neck. His own eyes teary, he said, "Thank you for telling me that." He moved towards her, his face so close that she thought he was about to kiss her. Instead, he pulled her forwards so that her forehead met his shoulder. His other arm moved around her waist and he lowered his head, his warm breath on her neck as he buried his head there.

Tentatively, Olivia returned his hug, feeling awkward as they were both sitting in separate chairs, but not wanting to risk getting closer to him. She knew how her body reacted to his. Still, she twined her left arm under his, wrapping it around his back. Her right hand went to his hair, her fingers automatically caressing the curls at the back of his neck, holding his head steady as they both cried. "I'm sorry," she said. His face pressed harder into her neck and she responded by gripping his curls harder. Even though the feel of his hair reminded her of what had happened three years prior, she still held on. "I'm so sorry," she repeated.

* * *

_Three Years Ago, Late July, Night_

"Are you sure you want to go?" Olivia asked Jake for the third time that evening. She was standing in front of the closet in the house they were renting for the few weeks that she had convinced him to come to the beach that summer.

"I'm sure," Jake responded. "So get dressed!" He said it teasingly, but also authoritatively.

Olivia glanced at him and then turned back to the closet. She was wearing a matching silky white bra and panties set, but she couldn't decide what else to put on. She wouldn't admit it to Jake, but she was nervous to go to this party. They had run into Fitz on the beach and he had calmly and sincerely invited them, not showing any doubt that he would like them to attend. Olivia did not feel sure at all, and had been questioning whether going was a good idea ever since. "You think Emily will be okay staying home alone?" she asked, her hands running over a series of dresses before finally withdrawing a white one.

"She'll be fine, Liv," Jake said. "You're just trying to come up with an excuse not to go."

Olivia replaced the white dress in the closet. She couldn't wear white; it would remind both of them of their wedding. Instead, she took out a navy blue dress with a tank style top and a skirt that flared out from under her breasts. The material was slinky and clingy. She held it up to her body, wondering if it would be too sexy. Finally, she removed it from its hanger and pulled it over her head.

Turning towards Jake, Olivia stepped in front of the mirror above the dresser, trying to see her whole body. She turned in multiple directions, held her hair up on the top of her head, dropped it back down again, and sighed as Jake came up behind her. He kissed her cheek and met her eyes in the mirror. "You look beautiful and I'm sure he'll agree. You sure you don't still have feelings for him?"

Olivia slipped away from him, entering the bathroom to apply her makeup. She ignored his question, as he had already told her that she should be fine seeing Fitz if she was truly over him and she had already assured Jake that her relationship with Fitz was so many years ago that it couldn't be farther from her mind. She had lied, of course, as seeing Fitz certainly brought all of her feelings to the forefront.

Half an hour later, Olivia had finished her makeup and slipped on a pair of navy peep toe heels. She poured herself a glass of wine in the kitchen and gulped it, waiting for the buzz to hit her brain and calm her nerves. As she finished the glass, Jake entered the kitchen. "Drinking already?" he asked with a small smirk in her direction. He was wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt and looked like he might be going to a club rather than to a cocktail party at a beach house. Olivia looked at him, reached for the wine bottle, and poured herself another glass. Jake stopped smirking. He turned and left the kitchen. After she finished her drink, Olivia followed.

On the porch of the Grant house, Jake turned to Olivia. "I don't want to force you to go to this party if you don't want to," he said, as if that wasn't what he had been doing all along. But now it was too late.

"We're here," she said. "We're going in."

She stepped inside his house as if it hadn't been years, as if she was comfortable there. She took a glass of wine from a passing waiter and smiled at Jake when he placed his hand on the small of her back. "You might want to slow down the drinking, Liv," he said into her ear. She slowly raised the glass to her mouth and sipped. Then she walked further into the house. Looking around, she saw beautiful, nicely dressed people everywhere. Waiters with drinks or food walked throughout, and soft music played. The doors to the back patio were open, allowing in the sea breeze, and people were out by the pool as well. Olivia closed her eyes against the memories of swimming in that very pool with Fitz.

As if conjured by her thoughts, Fitz himself appeared around a corner, his eyes immediately finding Olivia's. "Livvie!" he greeted as he approached, and Olivia felt Jake's hand clench against her lower back before he pulled her closer while thrusting his other hand towards Fitz for a hand shake. "So glad you both could make it," Fitz said as he shook Jake's hand, but his eyes were on Olivia. She offered him a small smile and took another sip of her wine. Fitz looked great, of course. He was dressed casually but smartly in a navy blue button down shirt and khaki pants. Olivia glanced down at her own dress as she realized that they matched. She could feel Fitz's eyes on her and her whole body suddenly felt warm. She drank the rest of her glass.

"More wine?" Fitz asked her, moving to take the empty cup from her hands.

"She's good," Jake answered for her, intercepting Fitz and grabbing the glass, setting it on a nearby table. Before Olivia or Fitz could react, Jake changed the subject. "Great house," he said, looking around. Fitz thanked him as a brunette with curly hair and bright blue eyes approached them, wrapping her arms around Fitz and smiling, though somehow her smile made Olivia feel like she was not truly happy.

"Hello," she greeted, regarding Olivia. She was tall, and Olivia wished she had chosen higher heels.

Fitz moved to disentangle himself from the woman, introducing her as he did so. "Olivia, Jake, this is Mellie, my wife."

Olivia and Mellie seemed to come to the realization together that neither was truly happy to meet the other. After briefly greeting each other, Mellie excused herself to head outside and Olivia moved towards a table of food, while at the same time she scanned the room for another drink. She knew Jake didn't want her to get drunk, but his controlling behavior made her want to drink even more.

Picking up a few random hors d'oeuvres, Olivia moved towards the side of the room where she had previously seen waiters with drink trays. Jake was close behind her, but Olivia was even more aware of Fitz's eyes on her as she walked. Jake seemed to be conscious of Fitz too and he placed himself directly beside Olivia so that when she tried to glance back towards where she knew Fitz was standing, all she saw was her husband's body.

"Looking for something, Liv?" Jake asked her. She looked up to meet his eyes and was surprised to see anger flashing there. He hooked his arm around Olivia's waist and turned her sideways. Now they could both see Fitz, who still stood where they had left him. He was talking to some of his guests, but as Olivia watched, she saw him glance towards her. As he did, Jake lowered his face to speak into her ear. "Why do you keep looking at him?" he hissed. "You said you were over him."

She leaned back from his close proximity to her and shook her head at him. "I am," she insisted.

Jake moved his hand to the back of her neck. To anyone looking at them, it might have seemed like Jake was touching her with affection. To Olivia, it meant possession. "I'm your husband, Liv," Jake said. "You married me, not him. You should remember that." Jake dropped his hand and walked away, heading towards the patio.

Olivia suddenly felt chilled and rubbed her free hand down opposite arm. She could never understand what made her husband go from calm and happy to out of control and scary in a matter of seconds. Feeling as if she needed space, Olivia put down the plate she still held and walked purposely down the hallway off of the main room. She knew where she was going and she entered the room as if she had been invited. It had in the past been referred to as the 'study' or sometimes the 'office,' but to Olivia it was always the library. The walls were lined with books after all. It looked the same, even in the dim light coming from the outside. Closing the door behind her, Olivia didn't bother to turn on the light and instead walked to the opposite side of the room near the window, braced her hands on a low book shelf, and tried to regulate her breathing.

After a minute or two, Olivia heard the door to the room opening and then clicking closed. She didn't have to turn around to know that Fitz had followed her. She could tell it was him from the charge in the air, from the way her body instantly reacted to his presence. He came up behind her and gently closed his hand over her arm. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft and deep.

Olivia didn't reply and Fitz gently turned her to face him. She met his eyes and they were full of concern and care and something else that she could not or did not want to name. In all of the years she had been married to Jake, Olivia could not remember him once looking at her the way Fitz was looking at her now. A shudder went through her body as Fitz raised his hand to her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb. She placed her hand on top of his wrist, meaning to push his hand away, but instead her fingers locked and held onto his arm. "Fitz," she whispered.

"Livvie," Fitz whispered back. He cleared his throat. "Livvie, what are you doing in here?" he asked. "What's going on?"

Olivia just shook her head and looked away. "It's fine, don't worry," she told him.

He lowered his head towards her, drawing her eyes back to his. He raised his eyebrows. "Liv?" he said, and with that, she fell into his chest, almost crying, but holding back as he encircled her in his arms and held on. His head rested on top of hers for a moment until she pushed him back.

"I shouldn't be in here," she said. "I should go." She tried to move around him towards the door but he stopped her, hands on her hips to keep her still.

"I miss you," he said softly. She froze at his declaration and looked up at him. "Don't you miss me?" he asked. "Even a little?"

As she stared at him, her eyes went from his eyes to his lips involuntarily, and when she met his eyes again, he leaned towards her and pressed his lips to hers. She tasted the scotch on him immediately and her gasp caused her mouth to open and he moved his tongue inside. _I'm drunk_, she thought, but was she? She didn't feel drunk, she felt…alive. When he drew back to look at her, she missed his mouth on hers and so she answered his earlier question with no hesitation, "I do miss you."

His response was a small smirk and then a deeper kiss, his hands moving from her hips up the curves of her body to her neck, then back down and as his hands reached her hips again he broke the kiss and knelt in front of her, bringing his hands down her legs as he did so. He looked up at her, his eyes daring her to ask him what he was doing, but she could no more question him than she could tell him to stop. He moved his hands slowly up her legs, under her dress, around her thighs, and she was holding her breath, wanting him, her whole body on fire for him, moments away from begging for him.

His fingers hooked into her panties and he drew them down her legs and off over her shoes. His eyes on hers, he brought the lace to his nose and inhaled, his eyes closing with a look of pleasure that made her moan. Meeting her eyes again, he placed her panties in his pants pocket and smiled, turning his head to kiss her inner thigh. She moaned again, her hands landing in his hair, as he lifted her leg off the ground and hooked it over his shoulder. He dragged his tongue along her thigh as she began to pant and finally his mouth moved over her core. She whimpered, trying not to scream, as she kneaded her fingers against his scalp and he licked her over and over until she was shaking and he had to hold her up so that she didn't collapse.

As her breathing returned to normal, Olivia's hands remained in Fitz's hair, not knowing what else to do with them. He stood and her dress fell back around her hips. He looked her in the eyes and then kissed her firmly on the mouth. "Now, I hope you'll remember exactly what you're missing," he said. He stepped away from her and her hands dropped from his hair. He smirked, then turned and left the room, taking Olivia's underwear with him.

* * *

_Present Day, Late July, Afternoon_

The memory of that night had come up for Olivia often over the past three years, but it was at the forefront of her mind yet again after she had tangled her fingers in his hair earlier that day. She had not gone home after talking to Fitz and instead was sitting on the beach, her hoodie folded underneath her. She was cross-legged, pretending to meditate. Actually, she was remembering the feeling of Fitz kissing her. After it happened, she had told herself that she had been drunk off of too much wine and that she had let Fitz pleasure her due to being drunk, not due to loneliness or her husband's temper or the fear that she would never feel alive again. In fact, she told herself so often that she had been drunk, that she almost believed it. Yet, would she remember so much of what happened if alcohol had been a factor?

Olivia let the memories sift over her, thoughts of Fitz and thoughts of her life with Jake floating by on the breeze. In many ways, Jake had not been the best husband to her over the years, but with him gone, it was hard for her to focus only on the bad. Instead, she thought about the last time she had seen him alive.

Olivia was used to Jake being occupied with work more often than he was occupied with her, so when he came home early that day, she was surprised to see him. He brought burgers from his favorite restaurant and she smiled because he still didn't realize that just because he liked it didn't mean that she did. She ate with him anyway, and they laughed about something silly that she could not recall and when he left to return to work, he kissed her goodbye.

He hadn't come back that night and she hadn't worried. The next morning though, she received the phone call about the car accident and then she had to tell her daughter that she no longer had a father. Taking care of Emily had become top priority after that, and the trip to the beach had seemed a good idea for both of them. Olivia realized her subconscious probably knew she would be reunited with Fitz and that she had chosen to return to this particular beach for a reason. After the accident, her biggest fear was that she and Emily would be alone. Now, she no longer felt alone. When she imagined the rest of her life without Jake, fear was no longer present. However, if she imagined the rest of her life without Fitz, the fear was there.

Maybe coming to the beach had been a good idea after all.


	9. Summer Tears

Chapter 9: Summer Tears

_Present Day, Early August, Night_

Emily lay back on the sand, suddenly feeling exhausted. The sounds of the ocean waves and the teenagers partying surrounded her and she was bored. It felt like the only thing she ever did was go to bonfire parties on the beach and then find a private place with Gerry to fool around. She had come to this particular party with Karen and her friend Faith, but both girls had disappeared into the throngs, probably looking for cute boys to flirt with. She wasn't sure where Gerry was and she considered just going back home, but instead she flopped onto the sand, kicking off her flip flops and digging her toes into the cooling powder.

"Hey." Gerry's voice startled her and she propped herself on her elbows to look at him as he sat down beside her. "What are you doing over here?" Gerry asked, as he offered her one of the two bottles of beer that he held.

Emily sat up and took the beer, sniffed at it, and wrinkled her nose. "Yuck," she said.

Gerry laughed, taking the beer back from her and putting it down by his sandal clad feet. "What are you a beer snob all of a sudden?" he asked.

Emily shook her head. "I don't know, my stomach is a little upset," she told him.

Gerry raised an eyebrow. "You want to go home?" he asked. Emily wondered if he was offering to leave the bonfire to walk her home. She thought he'd probably want to stay.

"I'm okay." She shrugged. "I almost threw up this morning."

"Almost?" Gerry asked. He looked slightly concerned, probably thinking that if Emily was sick, he might catch it.

"I was just a bit nauseous," she clarified. Then, "I think I might be pregnant."

"What?"

Emily could literally see the color draining from Gerry's face and she almost laughed. "I mean, I almost never get my period on time or whatever, but I haven't had it recently and when I got nauseous I started thinking it could be possible." She said this all in a rush. She was sleeping with him, but discussing her period with a boy was still strange.

"We used condoms though," he said.

Emily shrugged. "They don't always work," she said. "And remember that time when your dad interrupted us and we kind of…" She trailed off. The time they had been interrupted was their very first time.

"Wow," Gerry said, staring out towards the bonfire and the ocean beyond. "What are you going to do?" he asked.

"You mean what are _we_ going to do?" Emily retorted.

Gerry looked at her. "I just mean…it's your body, so…I'll support you whatever you want to do," he stammered.

Emily felt bad for him suddenly. She took his hand and pulled it around her shoulder so she could lean into him. He held her somewhat awkwardly and she sighed. "Thanks," she finally answered. He began to lower her down to the sand and he moved to kiss her, but she pressed her hand into his chest to stop him. "I'm not really feeling that great," she told him.

"Still?" he asked.

"Yeah." She sighed, feeling the prickling of tears at her eyes. She didn't know what she was going to do.

"I think we should find out," he said suddenly.

"Find out what?" Emily asked, not understanding Gerry's train of thought.

He stood, pulling her to her feet beside him. "You don't know for sure you're pregnant, right?" he said, continuing without waiting for her reply. "We should go buy a pregnancy test and once we find out for sure, then we can worry about it."

Emily nodded. "Yeah, okay," she agreed. She wasn't sure she really wanted to know, but Gerry was right. There was no use in putting it off. Finding out if she was pregnant or not could help to ease her mind.

They walked together to the 24-hour pharmacy and went inside. Gerry held Emily's hand on the way there, but when they started into the store, he let go, moving away from her. It didn't take her long to realize why, as he began grabbing snacks off of the shelves. He was embarrassed. "I know that guy," he hissed in her direction, confirming her suspicions of the reason for his behavior. He gestured towards the cashier, who was paying no attention to the couple. "Can you buy it?" he asked her.

Emily sighed. So much for supporting her, she thought. But she nodded at Gerry and found her way to the aisle that housed the pregnancy tests, picked one out, and grabbed a few other things – a magazine, a chocolate bar, a soda – to possibly distract the cashier from paying attention to her items. It seemed to work, as he didn't even look at her as he told her how much she owed.

She met up with Gerry outside of the store. "Now what?" she asked him.

"We can go to my house," Gerry told her.

"Your dad – " Emily began, but Gerry stopped her.

"He's away," Gerry said. "He's not coming back until tomorrow. You could even stay over if you wanted!"

Emily rolled her eyes. "Um, no thanks," she said. "Where'd your dad go? He's not with my mom…" She trailed off at Gerry's suddenly guilty look. He tugged on Emily's hand and they started walking in the direction of his house as they talked.

"Actually he went to see my mom," Gerry explained.

"He did?" Emily was surprised, she thought her mom had talked to Fitz and she expected them to be spending more time together, not for Fitz to visit his wife.

"I think he's going to talk to her about their plan," Gerry said.

"What plan"? Emily asked.

Gerry took a breath. "I think the plan is a divorce," he said.

"Oh," Emily answered. That made sense. She wondered if her mother knew about this development. And then she realized they were talking about Gerry's family. "I'm sorry," she said.

Gerry shrugged at her. "It's been a long time coming, really," he told her, and she nodded, accepting that Gerry was okay with the situation.

As they arrived at Gerry's house, Emily remembered the other situation they had to think about – whether she was actually pregnant. Gerry led Emily straight to his bedroom and they sat on his bed, somewhat awkwardly, considering. Emily reached into the bag from the store and withdrew the box containing the pregnancy test. "Okay," she mumbled, as she read the directions. She got up and went into the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind her.

Sitting there on the toilet, Emily told herself that everything would be fine. That her mother would understand. That even if Gerry wasn't happy with her decision, it was her decision to make. And she already knew that if she was pregnant, she would be going through with the pregnancy. She would have the baby and have it adopted. She wanted to keep the baby, of course, but she knew she wouldn't be able to take care of a baby. But she could bring joy to someone else's life with the gift of a baby. That is, if she was pregnant.

And sure enough, the test was positive.

* * *

_A Few Days Later, Afternoon_

Fitz stood in front of the barbecue on his back patio, grilling steaks for dinner. Olivia and Emily were coming over and he could not be happier. In fact, he was dancing a little bit, swinging his hips and bobbing his head as he flipped the steaks. There wasn't music playing, but Fitz was happy enough to dance to his own beat. He felt like he was making progress back into Olivia's heart, and he was more than ready to see her again when she arrived at his place soon.

The get together had been Gerry's idea, but Fitz was happy to go along with his son's plans. He imagined that Gerry felt similar to himself – summer was slowly reaching its end and soon enough, Olivia and Emily would return to their home in the city. The thought made Fitz feel empty and he hoped that they could arrange a way to continue to see each other even then, because he knew he would have a hard time not seeing Olivia as often as he had been. This would obviously be harder for Gerry and Emily, as they both had school to worry about, but with his divorce from Mellie now in the works, Fitz thought he could arrange to move closer to Olivia's home. If she wanted him to, of course.

He sighed to himself and glanced up at the sky, which had filled with clouds. He had hoped the group would swim that evening, but if it rained his plans would have to change. He tossed his fully grilled steaks onto a plate and headed back towards the house, as a cool breeze blew through his hair and the first drops of rain began to fall.

By the time Olivia and Emily arrived on the doorstep, it was pouring. Fitz grinned at their matching curls and shining eyes as they laughed at one another's wet clothing. He noted the car in the driveway – they hadn't walked the whole way in the rain at least – but the rain was hard enough to soak them as they walked from their car to the house.

"Come in, come in," Fitz said, as if they were still getting wet standing on the porch. They weren't, but he felt hospitable by hurrying them into the house.

Olivia removed her hoodie, revealing another one of her silky tank tops that Fitz loved to see her wear. He guided her towards the dining room with a hand on the small of her back, wishing that he could touch more of her body. She rewarded him with a dazzling smile, which he happily returned, as they were greeted by Gerry and Karen, followed by a friend of Karen's coming down the stairs. "I'm starving!" Karen said, and Fitz smiled at her as well, feeling pleased and strangely proud of himself and the dinner he had made. He glanced over at her friend, wondering if she was on her way out, when Karen said, "Can Faith stay for dinner, Dad?"

Fitz had wanted this to be him, Olivia, and their kids, but he couldn't say no to Karen, and so he agreed. He looked towards Olivia to see her reaction, but she had continued into the dining room to sit at the table. Instead, he saw Gerry and Emily exchanging looks and he wondered if Gerry too had wanted their dinner to be just family.

They gathered at the table and Fitz brought in the plates of food he had made – steak, corn on the cob, and mashed potatoes. The kids had arranged themselves at the table so Gerry was at the head of the table with Emily and Faith on each side of him. Karen was on the other side of Faith and Olivia was beside Emily, leaving the other head of the table for Fitz. He grabbed a bottle of wine from the sideboard and sat down. He poured wine for Olivia and smiled at her happily, he watched Gerry's guilty looks as Faith tried to flirt with him, and he noticed that Emily was picking at her food and looking unhappy.

Clearing his throat, Fitz spoke to her, "Emily, can I get you something else to eat? Do you not like steak?"

She looked up at him, her eyes widening as if she was surprised he was addressing her. "No thanks, I'm not very hungry," she replied.

Olivia's eyebrows narrowed as she regarded her daughter. "Is everything okay?" she asked her daughter and Fitz found himself wincing because he thought Emily's lack of hunger was due to Faith flirting with Gerry.

He found that he was incorrect though, as he watched Emily take Gerry's hand. Gerry looked briefly at her, but then his eyes found his father's. Fitz felt a sudden clench in his stomach. Something was happening and he wasn't sure he was ready for it.

"Mom," Emily said. Olivia seemed to stiffen beside Fitz and he knew she felt the foreboding as well. "Mr. Grant," Emily continued, and Fitz smiled at her, hoping he looked encouraging enough for her to get on with her news. "I'm not eating because I don't feel very well," she said.

"What's the matter?" Olivia asked. Fitz closed his eyes.

"Actually, I'm pregnant," Emily said.

Fitz opened his eyes so he could look at Olivia. He set down the knife he'd been holding and interlaced his fingers together, propping his elbows on the table and his chin on his hands. The silence that engulfed the group was almost deafening. Olivia was frozen in place, her mouth slightly open, her eyes wide with shock. He wanted to yell, to explode at Gerry for not being careful, but he desperately wanted Olivia to speak first.

It was Karen who broke the silence. "Congratulations!" she said, sounding only slightly insincere. "I guess I'm gonna be an aunt then, huh," she added, a smirk on her lips as she looked at her brother.

"Yeah, congrats," Faith echoed, now looking like she'd rather be anywhere but there.

"Pregnant," Olivia said, finally speaking.

"Dad?" Gerry's eyes were pleading with Fitz, he almost looked like he wanted his father to yell at him.

"Pregnant?" Olivia said again, beginning to stand from the table. Fitz reached for her then, his hand brushing her arm. She met his gaze and his heart broke at the look in her eyes. She stood up fully, stepping away from the table.

"Liv," he said softly, trying to get her to stay, to engage with her daughter. She shook her head at him, her eyes filling with tears even as he watched. "Hey, we're going to be grandparents!" he said, trying to make a joke. It was obviously the wrong thing to say.

"We are not going to be grandparents, Fitz!" Olivia yelped. "I would be crazy if I let my daughter have a baby at sixteen years old!"

"Liv," Fitz tried again to calm her.

"Mom, you can't control whether I have the baby or not! It's my baby!" Emily exclaimed.

"So what," Olivia said, "you're going to go through with the pregnancy while you're in high school? And then you'll drop out so you can take care of it? Or are you going to ask me to help you out because – "

"Mom!" Emily interrupted, standing up beside Olivia. "I want to have the baby and give it up for adoption," she said.

Fitz silently begged Olivia to acknowledge her daughter. He pleaded with her in his head to tell Emily that she loved her no matter what. That even though it would certainly be hard to experience nine months of pregnancy and at the same time do well in school, she would be there to help her through. That labor would be horribly painful and difficult, but that as her mother, she would be there to hold her hand. And when she saw her baby and fell in love but still had to hand her over to someone else, she would be there to help her mourn. He knew Olivia would do all of these things, he just had to will her to say them out loud. But she just stared blankly at Emily. And it was Karen who broke the silence again.

"That's a really brave thing to do, Emily," she said. Fitz nodded, a slight grin appearing as he regarded his daughter. Yes, it would be brave to be pregnant in high school, to carry a baby for nine months and then give it away, that was the definition of brave.

Faith, again, echoed Karen. "Very brave, Emily," she said. She laid a hand on Gerry's forearm. "Don't you think so, Gerry?" she cooed, and Fitz winced. Was she really still trying to flirt with Gerry when his girlfriend had just revealed that she was having his baby?

Gerry spoke then, and Fitz forgot his earlier need to yell at him. "I think…" He paused, glancing at Faith, and then looking at Emily, who still stood beside Olivia. "I think that whatever Emily decides is the right thing to do. It's Emily's body after all."

"Thanks Gerry," Emily said, "I appreciate that." Gerry nodded at her seriously and Fitz turned his eyes back to Olivia, who was still silent.

"Okay," she said finally. "I think we should go."

Fitz got to his feet quickly, not sure if he planned to try to stop her from leaving or to walk her out, but she waved him away and before he knew it, she was gone. Emily looked at him and he was almost surprised that her eyes looked so sad. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, and then followed her mother out.

Fitz looked at his children, and at Faith, who had somehow managed to finish her plate of food and was helping herself to more mashed potatoes. He sighed. "Karen, would you and Faith clean up when you're finished eating?" he asked, and his daughter nodded. "Gerry," he said then. Gerry stood and followed his father out of the dining room and down the hall to the room Fitz had been using as an office – the same room that would always feel like Olivia to Fitz.

Fitz faced his son and immediately felt badly that Gerry looked so terrified. "I'm proud of you, Son," Fitz began.

"Proud?" Gerry echoed, and Fitz recalled his father using the same words after catching him with Olivia so many years ago. The difference was that Fitz actually meant it when he said he was proud.

"You're doing the right thing, supporting Emily through this," Fitz told him. Gerry sank onto the couch. "It's not going to be easy, but being there for her is the best you can do right now," Fitz continued.

"I'm not ready to be a father," Gerry murmured. Fitz sat beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"No one ever is, Buddy," he said, reverting to the nickname he'd called Gerry when he was much smaller. "It's gonna be okay," he promised. "We'll figure it out." Of course, he was saying this as much to himself as he was saying it to Gerry.

They sat together on the couch for a while, twin curly heads leaning back on the cushions as they each became lost in their own thoughts. When Gerry spoke again though, Fitz realized their thoughts had actually been similar to one another's. "Do you think Olivia will come around?" Gerry asked.

"I think she will," Fitz answered.

"Will you talk to her, Dad?" Gerry asked.

"Of course," Fitz replied. In fact, he was ready to head to Olivia's house at that moment, but he wanted to give her and Emily time before he interrupted them.

And so, an hour later, Fitz drove through the rain to Olivia's house and knocked on the door. Emily opened it and once again, Fitz was struck by the sadness of the girl's eyes. She was dressed in sweats and a tank top and looking at her brought Fitz right back to his summers spent with Olivia when they were young. "Is your mom here?" he asked.

"She's in her room," Emily replied, opening the door wide enough for him to walk through. She gestured down the hallway and then she walked away, leaving Fitz to assume she wanted him to go to Olivia on his own.

He knocked lightly on the door and listened, hearing a muffled call to come in. He opened the door to a dark room in which he could barely make out Olivia's form under the comforter on the bed. He came into the room and closed the door behind him. As he moved closer, he realized Olivia was facing away from him, her hair spread out on the pillow behind her. He walked around to the other side of the bed so that she could see him and when she looked up at him, her eyes widened in surprise.

"Fitz," she whispered. "I thought you were Emily."

He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. His eyes adjusted to the dark enough for him to see that Olivia had been crying. He couldn't help it – he reached for her and gently stroked her face. She leaned her face into his hand for a brief moment and he felt the warmth of her breath on his palm. Then she moved back, towards the middle of the bed, and raised up the blanket. "Liv?" he asked.

"Fitz, please, come lay with me," she said softly. He toed off his sneakers and without giving it another thought, he removed his jeans, so that he was clad in his t-shirt and boxer briefs, and he climbed into bed beside her.

* * *

"I'm sorry I left like that," Olivia said quietly. She and Fitz were lying in her bed, face to face, not touching, but as close as they could be without touching one another.

Olivia had immediately felt badly for running out of Fitz's house earlier and had apologized to Emily, but she knew her daughter was upset with her for not staying and discussing everything together with Gerry and with Fitz. She had tried to explain that it was just too much for her to handle and that she'd just needed some time, and Emily had said she could understand that, but Olivia saw her daughter's eyes and knew how she really felt. So she had told Emily that she loved her and excused herself to her room, changing into a tank top and a loose pair of shorts and crawling into her bed, where she lay crying until the knock at the door came. She had readied herself for a discussion with Emily, but was surprised to see that her visitor was actually Fitz. She had to admit to herself that it was him that she truly wanted to talk to.

"Are you okay?" Fitz asked.

Olivia sighed. "I'm okay, it's just…Emily's still a baby in my heart, you know? I honestly wanted to leave tonight, to go back home and just get her baby pictures and remember when she was that small and…this just isn't what I wanted for her."

"Tell me what you want for her," Fitz encouraged.

"I wanted her to meet someone and fall in love. To get married, and then to get pregnant. To get pregnant on purpose, when she's ready to, not with the first guy she's slept with."

"He was her first?" Fitz asked. She just looked at him. Though it was dark in the room, she could clearly see his eyes. "Like us," he said.

"We were lucky, you know?" Olivia said. "It could have happened to us."

"I always thought we'd have children together," Fitz said.

Almost absentmindedly, Olivia raised her hand to his jaw and gently rubbed his stubble. "I know," she said quietly.

"This baby could be our chance. We could…"

"Fitz, stop," Olivia said, her throat clogging with too much emotion.

"Why?" he asked. "Maybe it's meant to be."

Olivia sighed and moved her hand around to his hair before pulling it away. "If you want to know how I feel, just imagine how you would feel if it was Karen that was pregnant," she said and he flinched.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "Tell me more about what you want for Emily," he said. She had tucked her hand beneath her chin and he reached for it and held it in his larger one.

"I want her to find someone who puts her first in his life. Someone who is willing to help around the house. Someone who reaches for her when she climbs into bed at night, who doesn't complain if she snores because it's the cutest sound he's ever heard. Someone who looks at her like she is the most beautiful person he's ever seen. Someone who loves her and tells her he loves her all the time." Hot tears began to roll down Olivia's cheeks as she spoke. Fitz let go of her hand and cupped her face, using his thumb to wipe her tears.

"Liv," he said softly, his eyes filled with gentle concern. "Are you sure you're talking about what you want for Emily and not what you want for yourself?"

Olivia shook her head, sniffing and closing her eyes against even more tears. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"You deserve all of that," Fitz said. "I can do all of that for you." He removed his hand from her face and she wished he hadn't.

"Fitz," Olivia choked out. Her throat ached with the truth that Fitz would have done everything for her; that they would have been great for each other if only she hadn't run from him. But she had, and it was years and years later and nothing was the same. She reached for his face, again stroking the stubble on his cheeks and running her thumb over his barely there sideburns. "I'm sorry," she said again, thinking she'd spend the rest of her life apologizing to him if he would just stay by her side.

Suddenly, Olivia felt that the few inches between her and Fitz were just too many and she wiggled herself closer to his body. First, she pressed her toes into his shin, the soft hairs tickling her just slightly. Then she maneuvered her chest into his, the warmth radiating off of him immediately comforting her. She put her head on his shoulder, but somehow her face met the soft skin on the curve where his neck met his shoulder, and she kissed him there. Gently at first and then harder as her tongue joined her lips and she tasted him. She felt more than heard his groan in response and she lifted her head to kiss his jaw. Instead, their lips met and melded together, their bodies pressing ever closer as she ran her hands over his muscular back.

Just as Olivia tried to deepen the kiss, Fitz pulled back, putting the inches back between them. She could still feel his warmth, but she felt the loss of his touch deep inside of her and she whimpered. "Liv, no," Fitz whispered, and Olivia felt the sting of rejection washing over her as tears came back to her eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked him.

"I just think…you're sad," he said.

"So?"

"Why don't we just try to go to sleep?" he suggested, using his hand on her hip to turn her away from him, but then pulling her into the curve of his body. The warmth returned and Olivia sighed.

His arms around her felt right. She listened to his steady breathing and wondered if he felt it too.

He pressed his lips into the back of her neck and whispered, so softly she almost didn't hear him, "Good night, Livvie."

She didn't reply, but soon the feel of him and the sound of his breaths lulled her into sleep.


End file.
